The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Tuesday January 25th

Kvetching board for Dec. 7, 2011

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the students in my organic chemistry class that made 90s on the test: Tell me your secret, because the standard deviation was higher than my grade.

To the guy listening to Rihanna’s “We Found Love”: Yes, the UL at 7 a.m. is a hopeless place. I don’t think there’s any love here, though.

If you require a cover page, professor, I require ten cents.

To the girl wearing wrapping paper as a shirt on the P2P Friday night: No classy Christmas parties for you this year, huh?

To all girls on campus: If you actually stop fantasizing about the perfect Korean guy, you might actually find some real people worth your while.

Don’t worry Heels, it is only a matter of time before Calipari invalidates that win as well.

To the hottie grad student in the DeSimone Lab: My friends and I think you’re a stud, and with the semester ending we’d like you to take a break and explore your chemistry with us.

Define misdirected participation: Spending half a lecture spaced-out, mentally editing a kvetch.

The library during exams = the gym after New Years.

Chance of a few rain showers this week? I’ll risk it. It’s not worth putting the campus on lockdown so that I can carry around my full-size comic book umbrella.

To the girl in Number Theory who insists on reading the kvetches aloud EVERY Friday: #annoyed

If Tim Tebow had a thought, would it be called a Christian Ponder?

To the couple loudly discussing whether or not to cheat in Davis: Bet you didn’t realize the Attorney General was sitting next to you. See you soon!

Oh, so that’s why all the people are camped outside Cameron Indoor Stadium — the Occupy Duke Basketball Movement.

Rams Head: Cockroaches in the dining hall are not what I meant by Meatless Mondays.

To the guy yelling into his phone “Man, what gives you the confidence to get all up in my baby-momma s***!?”: What gives YOU the confidence to have this conversation in the middle of Stadium Drive?

To the kid in Davis stressing about the Monday crossword puzzle: Can I have your exam schedule?

To all those criticizing the basketball team: There’s a reason they’re on the court and not you. Go’n witcha bad self, b-ball team.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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