The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Tuesday January 25th

Kvetching board for Dec. 7, 2011

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the students in my organic chemistry class that made 90s on the test: Tell me your secret, because the standard deviation was higher than my grade.

To the guy listening to Rihanna’s “We Found Love”: Yes, the UL at 7 a.m. is a hopeless place. I don’t think there’s any love here, though.

If you require a cover page, professor, I require ten cents.

To the girl wearing wrapping paper as a shirt on the P2P Friday night: No classy Christmas parties for you this year, huh?

To all girls on campus: If you actually stop fantasizing about the perfect Korean guy, you might actually find some real people worth your while.

Don’t worry Heels, it is only a matter of time before Calipari invalidates that win as well.

To the hottie grad student in the DeSimone Lab: My friends and I think you’re a stud, and with the semester ending we’d like you to take a break and explore your chemistry with us.

Define misdirected participation: Spending half a lecture spaced-out, mentally editing a kvetch.

The library during exams = the gym after New Years.

Chance of a few rain showers this week? I’ll risk it. It’s not worth putting the campus on lockdown so that I can carry around my full-size comic book umbrella.

To the girl in Number Theory who insists on reading the kvetches aloud EVERY Friday: #annoyed

If Tim Tebow had a thought, would it be called a Christian Ponder?

To the couple loudly discussing whether or not to cheat in Davis: Bet you didn’t realize the Attorney General was sitting next to you. See you soon!

Oh, so that’s why all the people are camped outside Cameron Indoor Stadium — the Occupy Duke Basketball Movement.

Rams Head: Cockroaches in the dining hall are not what I meant by Meatless Mondays.

To the guy yelling into his phone “Man, what gives you the confidence to get all up in my baby-momma s***!?”: What gives YOU the confidence to have this conversation in the middle of Stadium Drive?

To the kid in Davis stressing about the Monday crossword puzzle: Can I have your exam schedule?

To all those criticizing the basketball team: There’s a reason they’re on the court and not you. Go’n witcha bad self, b-ball team.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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