Kvetching board for Jan. 27, 2012

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Dear guy with the purple eye: you should’ve just gotten her flowers. Sincerely, sucks to suck.

Can we please all start calling Thomas Ross’ 9.9 percent tuition cap the “9-9” plan??

Sh*t no one says: “I really wish I voted for Rick Ingram.’”

Does anyone else feel like they’re sticking their head in a urinal when drinking from the Phillips water fountains?

So how much of the tuition increase is going toward keeping two giant video screens running 24/7 at Kenan Stadium?

To the guy at the gym who keeps staring at my boobs while I run: I promise you they will be fine. Now you should probably try to focus on yours.

Too bad my boyfriend isn’t like the washing machines in HoJo, so when he says he has one minute left, he really would mean 10 minutes.

To the short guy on the treadmill next to me who fell on his face while checking me out: Hope your ego and your face recover.

To the girls who save seats in Orgo and force me to sit in the back: don’t make me go all “Rosa Parks” on you.

To the girl who just kvetched about me: bet you didn’t think I worked for the DTH.

Dear guy with the Australian accent in the bottom of the UL: Will you be the Peeta to my Katniss?

To the guy wearing the “Beets: Killer Tofu Tour” shirt, I’m strumming on a streetlight for you to be my best friend.

If you approach me holding a clipboard, there’s a good chance I have already cursed your existence.

Sh*t UNC Seniors say: No, I have no f***ing clue what I’m going to do with my liberal arts degree after I graduate. Maybe frame it?

To the freshman who said law school would be his back up to medical and business school: Ah, to be so young and naive again. Sincerely, upperclassman.

To the kids playing the game “Magic” in Lenoir… You take nerd to a whole new level.

To the pretentious assholes in Caribou complaining about the “disgusting powder blue” color of the town’s fire trucks: please, feel free to get hit by one.

To the Beatles enthusiast in line at The Daily Grind, Ringo Starr is definitely still alive.

Of course it was a philosophy professor who criticizes students for picking majors that will get them jobs.

This underload is still getting in the way of Tequila Tuesday, Wednesday Karaoke, Thirsty Thursday, Phat Friday….

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’