Kvetching board™

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the kid playing pickup against the basketball team while wearing Sperry’s: the Ralph Lauren photo shoot is next week.

Hi everyone, master bell ringer here. I fixed the bells so they’ll ring on time. Sorry to take away your excuse for being late to class!

To the girl who’s constantly been stealing food out of my room: I hope you enjoy those laxative cookies.

To the girl in my group who whipped out her BlackBerry after the rest of us pulled out iPhones: muggle.

Sh–t seniors never say: I’m really going to miss Connect Carolina.

Newest Davis Library thread: women seeking Kendall Marshall. “HMU!”

I had sex in Davis Library before it was cool. #hipsterproblems

Davis is for deviants, but cuddling’s rad in the UL.

Look’s like I know which library I’m studying in for finals.

Thanks DTH. Now the whole world and my mother know what I’m doing when I go to “study in Davis.”

Scream-laughing sorority girls in Davis: Your carrel is not soundproof. Congrats, the entire 5th floor now knows all about your sex life.

I’m a female at a school with a 60:40 ratio. May the odds be never in my favor.

The disappointment when you realize that bowl of candy your RA left out is actually condoms.

To the guy wearing a Gandalf t-shirt while playing Quidditch: Why don’t you just carry a lightsaber while you’re at it?

To the white beetle-hater, haven’t you ever heard of Kevin Bacon? Cut loose, foot loose and kick yourself in the face.

To the atheists in the Pit trying to convert people to their anti-religion group : You’re doing it wrong.

To the girl who kvetched about Julius Caesar last week: I’m one of those studs and I will see you after the show. Et tu, baby?

To the guy sitting on the toilet in the union bathroom laughing hysterically at stand up comedy on his phone: That’s the funniest sh–t I’ve heard in a while.

To the guy in Venable who was using a pencil to erase something on his big toenail… What?

I can’t be the only person who automatically types “facebook.com” no matter what site I’m trying to go to.

To the person who removed the rolls of toilet paper out of ALL of the bathroom stalls in the psychology building: Is this some sort of social psych experiment?

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line “kvetch.”