Kvetching Board for Nov. 16, 2012

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Environmental science 202: Came for the class credit, stayed for Dr. Bell’s pecs.

Dear people who care about the Mr. and Miss UNC election: Zip up your college! Your high school is poking out.

Quidditch AND aliens on the front page? Is it a slow news week or is the DTH turning into Weekly World News?

Wake up to a text about a “shooting,” then immediately fall back asleep and have the worst nightmares of my life. Thank you for that, Alert Carolina.

To the students who sat down the entire basketball game: If you sit down, Larry Drew wins.

DTH, I think you graded our SBP easier than the AFAM department grades football players.

To my fantasy friend: If you give me Arian Foster, I’ll be the one on my knees.

A haiku about getting out of bed: No No No No No/ No No No No No No No/ My bed is so warm.

In honor of basketball season, Bskis should create a ski called a KrzyzEWski filled with brussel sprouts, sardines and other foods as enticing as Duke’s basketball team.

Anyone want to claim the whole outfit laying in the bathroom trash can in the UL?

To the couple drunkenly rehearsing lines from Romeo and Juliet outside my apartment window at 3 a.m. Saturday: A plague on both your houses!

That awkward moment when your boyfriend doesn’t respond to your sext…

To my English 105 teacher who assigned us a poster project: Do I need to show you my high school diploma? Or middle school?

To the girl who picked up a Friday DTH and didn’t immediately turn to the back page — you’re doing it wrong (She probably won’t even see this).

To the Carrboro resident who spotted a UFO while pissing outside on his compost pile: Whatever hippie drink got you that drunk, send it my way.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’