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The Daily Tar Heel

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

My people have suffered long enough ­— the All Saints Day hangover needs to be an observed University holiday.

To all the girls who barely put on clothes and called it a costume: Nope, that’s it. Just wanted to call you out.

To my Avatar soulmate: We had great Avatar tail sex in front of everyone on Franklin. I’ll be waiting for you in the same costume next year. But until then, can I get your number?

Evidently “I don’t even know you” is no longer enough to deter a taco from walking you home.

To the guy in a Where’s Waldo costume getting arrested on Halloween — they found you.

Nice Romney/Ryan sign, DKE. Just in case anyone was wondering.
Need a new chancellor? Why not Zoidberg?

To any HvZ person: Anyone wanna trade for my holographic Charizard??

To the girl in my logic class who asked the professor when we’ll ever use this… (I don’t think anything else needs to be said.)

To the bro smoking out of a mini vaporizer at Buns on Friday night: You have broken the holy tradition of smoking out AND THEN going to Buns.

To the cigarette pack I found in the bottom of the UL: Don’t you belong on the eighth floor of Davis?

To the girl in my recitation who asked if I made my knit cap myself: Thanks, but ain’t no bio major got time for that.

To the SILS student who said to our information retrieval class that he couldn’t be found on Google: You don’t get how this works, do you?

To the dude at Rams who asked the sandwich woman to put his entire plate of breakfast food into a wrap: Marry me.

Monday, a haiku: I walked through the Pit/ With my skirt caught in my tights/ Sorry for dat ass.

Intramural leagues, please change the name of your “hash run” next year so I wont be so damn disappointed when I get my prize.

Greenlaw bathrooms: Your sweet, strawberry scent and literary graffiti have made you the paramount of pooping places.

To the girls kvetching about not getting laid for a while: Craige North 207.

Am I the only one who thinks the Rameses costume should reflect the real ram’s scrotum size?

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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