Kvetching Board for Nov. 30, 2012

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

The creation of “Carolina Compliments” and “Oh Hey” makes me feel even more like the forever alone meme.

To the girl riding by me on her bike in shorts today: I am wearing mittens. One of us is wrong.

To my professor who said my paper was “great” and then proceeded to give me a B-: You just summed up the Carolina experience.

Environmental Science 202: Came for the lab section, stayed for Brian’s flannel and beard.

Union comics are like Durex condoms: Low expectations, still disappointing performance.

To the girl passed out in the back of Student Stores in the middle of the day: Time to hop off the struggle bus.

I’m not the only one who giggles when the bus drives by and the sign says “A Weiner,” right?

To the boy who titled his CCI project “God, you look good”: Did your mother not send a self-esteem note in your lunch today?

You had one job, DTH. One job. Yet, the crossword puzzle is still in the middle of the page.

To the freshman who complained that “UNC isn’t like NCSSM — there’s no guarantee that the people here are smart”: You’re in for a rough four years.

To my English professor: Considering that I am no longer in kindergarten, I don’t think using Comic Sans on our final project rubric is really appropriate.

To the girl who stopped running to engage in small talk with me: I know you were faking knowing me. I was actually waving to the person behind you.

To the girl that denied me a seat on the bus because her banana was sitting there: Next time I will take your little friend and be making a smoothie.

To the guy whose house I’ve been showing to potential renters: I show the house so I can flirt with you.

To the girl in the bottom of Lenoir using pictures of kittens to motivate herself to write an essay: Do what you gotta do to make it through hell week.

To the squirrel who lost its tail on the sidewalk: I almost stepped on it but didn’t, so it should still be in good condition if you want it back.

To those emailing surveys to the entire business school: You’re getting on my listnerv.

To the girl knitting behind me in class today: It was fun to listen to for 75 minutes!

To the girl my friend caught Facebook stalking me in WMST 101: I’m flattered, but you should know I have eyes everywhere.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’