Kvetching Board for Nov. 9, 2012

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

PWAD 272, a haiku: You are required/But there is just one section/Screw you, budget cuts.

To the girl who showed up at my house at 2 a.m. on Halloween with nothing on: You have beautiful eyes.

To the boy giving out his room number on the Kvetching board in order to get laid: Desperate much?

To all the attractive lady-Democrats out there: I voted for Obama in Ohio, and yes, I’m single.

To my suitemate who just finished her shower: You left what seems to be the entire contents of your hair in the tub. Please get it.

To the girl checking her fantasy football team in class: I will trade you Arian Foster for your hand in marriage.

I hope everyone remembers to send in their Dance Marathon kvetches so we can see how totally funny and original they are!!

Dance Marathoners: How’s about a trade? I sign up to dance, you GO AWAY.

To the girl looking at frat coolers on Pinterest in Spanish class: Can you feel my judgment from back here?

To the guy getting a Safe Walk from the UL at 10 p.m.: Grow a pair.

I’m considering doing Dance Marathon for the first time in 4 years because one of them grinded on Gary while doing the Wobble. #FTK?

To the panicking skippers of SOCI 122: What exactly do you expect to glean from your classmates’ notes? The correct answer is always “white people suck.”

Thanks to the 40:60 ratio, I had to go to the dark side, Duke, to get some action. What did karma give me in return? A UTI.

To the girl in Davis smacking her lips while eating and slurping her drink: That’s why you have no boyfran.

To the guy who drifted his beat up Buick around the Morrison parking lot, the smell of burning rubber cannot even mask the aroma of success coming from your life right now.

Daylight savings: making winter just a little more depressing since 1918.

To the lax bro cutting his pubes on the Bob’s porch: “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!”

To the naked girl that barged into our house, spread her legs spread eagle, tried to steal my shoes and then told me and all my friends we were going to be dead in the morning … how’d you know?!?

To the guy in Rams Dining Hall Tuesday night with an erection … A little too excited about our win against Duke in soccer, are we?

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’