v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
Girls are always trying to give me their numbers because I work at the SRC. By numbers I mean PIDs.
This whole “portal to dook” thing sounds a lot like Chat Roulette.
I’ll vote for whichever SBP candidate whose campaign minions shout at me the least.
The bags under my eyes couldn’t even hold all of the work I have yet to finish. Thank you UNC!
To the guy in the SRC with bulging arms and toothpick legs: My only hope is that you find a nice young lady who only cares about what’s going on from the waist up.
To the couple making out outside the UL at 8 a.m. and were still there when I left at 9 a.m.: Don’t you have a class to go to?
“I voted for that person for SBP because they yelled the most frequently and the loudest in the Pit.” – No one ever
Hey Roy, next time we’re losing 0-12, how about you turn the lights off for 30 minutes and see if that makes a difference?
In protest against annoying Dance Marathon recruiters, I will be holding Sleep Marathon in my bed. FTK.
To the girl in history who spent the entire class editing a photo of herself on iPhoto: You should consider investing in Photoshop. It’s much more effective.
Kid President for SBP.
If I get asked what I’m doing after I graduate one more time, the answer is going to be “25 to life.”
To the girl Snapchatting in Rams: I hope those aren’t the same faces you make when you’re having sex.
To the white guy studying Arabic in Peabody: Lets go for trilingual and add body language to our language skills.
If eye sex transmitted diseases, the people who study in ‘the stacks’ of Davis would all have herpes.
“Wow! That driver blasting rap music with their windows down is so cool!” Thought no one ever.
To the girl who said “TOPO” and was referring to the Top of Lenoir: do you even go here?
To the Peabody Hall doors: If there are two of you, why can I never use both? You’re making me look awkward when I try to open you for the ladies.
To the girls openly complaining about not having boyfriends due to the 60-40 ratio: There are plenty of available guys here, maybe you’re the problem.
To the couple loudly discussing which condoms to buy in Walgreens: Maybe you’re not ready after all.
Send your one-to-two sentence entries to firstname.lastname@example.org subject line ‘kvetch.’
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