The Daily Tar Heel
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Friday, Dec. 8, 2023 Newsletters Latest print issue

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The Daily Tar Heel


v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

If the lightning, humidity and leftover fireworks don’t kill me, the morning after Tequila Tuesday will.

Nothing like star-spangled vomit and an Independence Day hangover to remind you of America’s less savory side.

Carolina girls, best in the world / they so fine and one of a kind / they don’t need no rights. #NCGA

Strip me, stick electric charges on my nipples, waterboard me, slap me silly, but force-feeding me during Ramadan? Too far, Guantanamo.

Social conservatives: committed to shrinking the size of government … until it’s small enough to fit inside your vagina.

The Fourth of July: When day drinking doesn’t mean your life is in shambles — you just love your country.

Who was in charge of the fireworks playlist in Kenan on the 4th? I’d have marched out in protest the second time through “God Bless the U.S.A.” but I was incapacitated with schwasty.

Chapel Hill: Where April showers bring May showers and June showers and July showers.

The only thing worse than being sweaty and wet in Chapel Hill in the summer is going to State.

If unpleasant humidity in Chapel Hill is the equivalent of going to State, then Dook is the N.C. General Assembly

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