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The Daily Tar Heel

Kvetching Board for October 16, 2013

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Too bad CDS can’t put as much effort into having enough seats or edible food as they do into picking a playlist for the dining hall.

To my roommate who stole our RA’s door decoration to make me smile after a rough night: I love ya. Sorry, Mauricio.

To the 97 other black first-year males: We are the 2.5 percent.

My favorite thing about UNC is paying for our own scantrons while the football team gets brand-new jerseys for Zero Dark Thursday.
Watch our football team get slaughtered by Miami or waste an excessive amount of money at the fair Thursday night? Fried Oreos, here I come.

Happy University Day! I celebrated by lying in my bed all day with a hangover.

To the idiot who tried to steal beer from Walgreens on Saturday night, just how stupid are you? Do you not realize that I know your full name, phone number and current place of residence? Enjoy your visit from the police. Sincerely, the overnight manager.

To the girl doing the walk of shame through the Pharmacy 5K Sunday morning, those heels weren’t even made for walkin’.

Is the reason sorority girls monogram everything because even they can’t tell each other apart?

“The suspect was an Asian male wearing a d00k hoodie.” Raise your hand if you’re surprised.

To my roommate who pees with the door open so she can still talk to me: If you’re going to fart, too, you really don’t need to do that.

UNC Spanish 101: learn the adjective “tired” but not the verb “to sleep.”

To the freshman football player who, when told to fold a square in half, asked if he should fold it longways: Thank you for reinforcing the fact that you got into UNC solely based on football skills.

To those who keep trying to enter the UL through the exit door: It’s almost halfway through the semester. Get it together.

Lenoir’s make-your-own-nachos station: selecting for students with long arms since 2013.

If I had a dollar for every penalty yard the football team has gotten this year, I would have enough money to buy new defensive AND offensive coordinators.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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