kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
I left my last microbiology class convinced I’m doomed to die of either botulism or rabies. Happy LDOC?
To my Computer Science 101 professor for NEXT SEMESTER: I’m pretty sure emailing students before they even start exams (for the previous semester) violates the Geneva Conventions.
To my fiance who starts finals this week: Save the D for when you get home.
Annoyance with elementary school field trips on campus during finals: A reminder of why college women NEED birth control.
To the girl who swiped me into Rams without even eating: You are a saint.
It’s barely Tuesday and I’ve already received a reminder about the reminders to remember to fill out my course evaluations. How about you just shoot me instead?
To the second-floor Connor singer, ruining people’s afternoon peace since August 2013: Stahp. Mumford is nice, but finals. Seriously.
#FreePJ? How about #YaBlewItPJ for doing something he knew was wrong and putting himself in front of the team.
I want to cry. I miss Reggie.
If watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas twice in one day is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.” #CindyLouWHOAREYOUTOJUDGE
To my professor who gave me a C for being “too wordy”: Here is my revision: U. R. Shit.
To the girl wearing the Lululemon yoga pants: There was a reason those were recalled. Also, you need a wax.
To the past kvetcher / Leggings are comfortable / Control your penis
Does anyone find it disconcerting for frat court to be bumping Vince Guaraldi?
To the bro who brought a can of spit tobacco and a dip cup to the UL: I’ve never been so repulsed by a dude’s mouth since, well, ever.
UNC women: Stay away from Marcus Paige. We don’t need any more basketball players going to the NBA to support babies.
Sung to the tune of “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton: “Faking my way through work, typing fast, classes pass, almost home bound.”
To my AlwaysInTheRoommate: Even if you have no interest in sex, I do. GTFO once in a while.
To the kid sporting a holiday wreath on your bike handlebars, too soon. It’s finals week. #bahhumbug
Blessed is the Kennedy Meeks, for he shall inherit the Earth.
Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’
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