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The Daily Tar Heel

‘Accidental Jihad’ author Krista Bremer visits Flyleaf

Fifteen years later, Bremer is the author of “My Accidental Jihad: A Love Story,” a memoir which chronicles her life-altering relationship with Suayah, and her journey raising two bicultural children in the South. Bremer will be bringing her story to Flyleaf today.

Michelle Cacho Negrete, a close friend, said the book will help society improve.

“Krista’s book moves past differences to discuss the most important similarities — the ability to love, be compassionate and raise children in a healthy way,” she said.

Bremer said it hasn’t always been easy to open up about her relationship. She had limited knowledge of Libya and of Islam. Previously, she knew only about the heinous acts of Libyan ex-dictator Moammar Gadhafi and the headscarves women wear, clothing that she previously believed to be oppressive.

And as she developed a stronger relationship with her future husband, she felt confused by the negative connotations attached to Libyans and Muslims, characteristics she didn’t find in her partner.

“I felt this inner turmoil,” Bremer said. “I felt so wonderful in his company, but he was the polar opposite of the man I envisioned myself with.”

When, soon after they began dating, Bremer became unexpectedly pregnant, she knew she would have to confront the way she viewed the world, and that it would’t be easy. That experience is partially the reason for the title “My Accidental Jihad.”

“I had not intended for my life to move in this direction,” Bremer said, explaining the title choice was intended to confront the various perceptions of the word Jihad, and its true meaning.

“I knew that the title was a risky choice. Many Americans associate Jihad with horrific acts of violence, but Muhammad taught that the greatest struggle of our lives — the real meaning of Jihad — is the one that takes place within our hearts.”

The book details one of her visits with Suayah’s family in Libya. Bremer said almost immediately after stepping off the plane in Libya to meet her new family, she was overwhelmed by their kindness.

“The book addresses key issues that are facing the society today, like our tolerance to issues like sickness, class and anything that is different from us,” Suayah said.

Bremer said she also hopes readers take her story, in a broader sense, as one that can be applied to any heart.

“Every relationship is bicultural,” she said. “Whether you marry someone from the other side of the world or your own hometown, you will have different ideas — your mate will seem impossibly foreign.”

“I learned how easy it is to demonize another person — how much of a struggle it is to keep your heart open, even with the people we love the most. It’s humbling how much work that requires.”

arts@dailytarheel.com

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