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The Daily Tar Heel

Kvetching Board for April 4, 2014

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Undierun: streaking for those who have trouble committing.

To my teacher who said size matters, thanks for ruining my grades and my self-esteem.

Nothing says spring like the weather getting warmer, the sun coming out and the crazy religious protesters waking up from hibernation.

Dear Ukraine: can’t hang onto your own land? Crimea river. Try Putin on a happy face.

Dear “study” group that meets in front of the Reference Desk in Davis every day: SHHHHHHH!!!

To my upstairs neighbor, there are better ways to clean vomit off your stairs than by pouring a water bottle on them. Sincerely, your downstairs neighbor with vomit-water on his head.

To all the tour groups strolling on the upper quad, please get off my lawn. Sincerely, a sassy Old West resident.

Dear Stop Abortion Campaign, congratulations on finally making the Pit Preacher seem like a compassionate, rational individual.

To the abortion protesters with the loud, uncontrollably wailing baby, you’re not helping your case.

88 degrees and sunny? Sounds like a great day to wear long pants and closed-toed shoes. Thanks, Chem Lab.

That awkward moment when you’re a senior and you still confuse the condoms in campus health for free candy.

Police Log: Purse stolen valued at $800 — Toshiba laptop stolen valued at $600. This is what’s wrong with America.

To the girl in my Bio class who emailed the listserv after each of the last five classes with a different excuse for needing notes, I’m not even mad. That’s impressive.

The Department of Public Safety welcomes you to another day of work at UNC... with a speed trap at Manning and Ehringhaus Drive!

I don’t like ConnectCarolina, but I dislike getting spam from students trying to set up new class registration sites even more.

Sorry I’ve been wearing skirts on my breezy bike rides to class, but hey, I’m making it to class in a flash.

My roommates and I have a passive aggressive note system. I feel my roommate’s note to me is about to be a lot less passive and a lot more aggressive when he finds out I’ve been hooking up with his girl.

Send your one-to-two ? sentence entries to ?opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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