Drew Goins (whose bracket got pretty upset) and Kelsey Weekman (who’s just upset in general) are the advice columnists of “You Asked for It.” Results may vary.
You: How do I save face with my busted bracket?
YAFI: Going into the Big Dance, nobody expected Wichita State to topple Kansas or N.C. State to dominate any seed other than sunflower.
You’re in good company with everyone else who ever filled out any bracket ever. As a matter of fact, usage of the word “busted” on social media increases by 414 percent during March, probably.
The probability of picking a perfect bracket is 1 in 9.2 quintillion — still better than the odds of any bar staying in the spot between CHUG and Bub O’Malley’s for more than a year, but slim nonetheless.
Here’s our guaranteed method for next year, though: Pick UNC all the way to end. For every other game, scribble what could feasibly be either team’s name in the blank. Or just talk to that octopus who predicted World Cup games. He probably knows what’s up.
You: How do I get Chancellor Folt to become my best friend?
YAFI: Carol Folt is a priceless gem — a pocket-sized pioneer of Carolina blue fashion and the undisputed selfie queen.
Remember that time she got a speeding ticket for going 20 over? The “Fast and Furious: Pittsboro Drift” incident proved that the woman is four feet of miniature momentum.