J.P. must have jumped too high and hit his head.
Newton’s First Law of Basketball: A play which goes out of bounds is called out of bounds unless acted on by Justise Winslow.
Thank you humidity and the NCAA championship game for reminding this senior that graduating is literally HELL.
Shout out to the L.A. Times crossword on Monday for 4 down. Clue “complain”. The answer started with “k” and ended in “vetch.”
Dear DTH: I would like to remind you that technically all Balrogs are of Morgoth. Morgoth refers to their dark lord, Melkor, rather than any geographic location. Also I am very sad and lonely.
Maybe if UNC dumps 40 tons of ash into the Eno River the legislature will mistake us for a business and leave us alone.
Dear Epidemiology 600 students: Surveys about online dating are not “urgent.”
Shout out to the 80-year-old woman coming out of Walgreens with a pack of Bud Light and a huge grin on her face.
Stayed up late to watch basketball on Monday, woke up super late for class. Rushed to get there, class was cancelled, and my day is off to a terrible start. I blame Dook.
A moment of silence for anyone who never got to see 5/5 of One Direction in concert.
I’d expect the weather to be no less ominous the week after a Duke championship.
I saw a small dog in the Pit today and had to restrain myself from warning its owner about hawks.
Nothing like a nighttime thunderstorm and an hour spent huddled under the covers to remind you that no, you’re not an adult yet.
Mitt Romney was at Duke this week? Yeah, that sounds about right.
CUAB didn’t give Rae Sremmurd everything they wanted, but I can ;) (I have Doritos Locos Tacos in my dorm right now.)
Can we replace ENGL 105 with a class that teaches me how to do my taxes?
Send your one-to-two sentence kvetches to
email@example.com, subject line “kvetch.”