Why the hell are college baseball games at 2:30 in the afternoon? Don’t they realize people have classes to attend?
To the frat star who talked shit throughout our intramural basketball game, I imagine playing you is a lot like playing against Grayson Allen except he doesn’t suck at basketball.
If Campus Y leaders had a dime for each time they were hypocritical, they’d actually make a difference by their increased funding!!
People used to call North Carolina the Variety State due to the variety of things to do here — now they are just call it that because of the weather.
Donald Trump is still in the race ... just let that sink in for a little bit.
Is it Spring Break yet?
Is it post-finals summer break yet?
Why is a cappella still a thing? Instruments would not have been invented if just listening to voices was all that interesting.
Don’t you hate when something is supposed to be “crowdsourced,” but it turns out to just be you doing it all. Then afterward people complain about it?
Ask yourself a simple question: Have you ever seen Ted Cruz and the Zodiac Killer in the same room? Not saying he is the Zodiac Killer, but it is suspicious.
The tornado did not cancel my class. Come on UNC, we usually give you flak for not canceling on snow, but honestly slipping on ice sounds a hell a lot better than being sucked out my dorm window.
I refuse to believe in a capitalistic society that we still do not have a coffee delivery service. Get on “free market.”
Has anyone ever won one of those Amazon gift cards for doing a survey? I do every single one I get in a email and have never won a cent.
Watching the results of the Republican Nevada caucus had me on my Rev. Jeremiah Wright: “God bless America? No, no, no! God damn America!”
Getting ready for the Chris Rock-hosted Oscars with the Birdman hand rub.
Can Kanye finish one album before he announces another one for the same year? Fix “Wolves,” Kanye, fix it!
Hillary Clinton’s childhood cat was named Isis; draw your own conclusions.
Send your one-to-two
sentence entries to
email@example.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’