Kvetching Board for March 4, 2016

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

If DPS really uses parking ticket revenue to maintain roads and parking lots, then I have personally eradicated all the potholes on campus. You’re welcome.

To the DTH columnist who extols smoking as a way to widen your social circles: It is true. Smoking will make you many new friends over a lifetime, mostly among health care providers.

If Margaret Spellings believes in free enterprise so much, why doesn’t she start her own company instead of getting paid $775,000 to lead a public university system?

To the kvetcher from last week, Lord Grantham’s dog was named Isis too so STFU.

I keep hearing people talk about their Spring Break plans to travel and I am just like “my bed at home is the only place I want to be.”

Fuller House is an afront to great 90’s television.

TEDx should be shorter.

The U.S. is weak on community, you say, because of our car dependence. We don’t need more air-asphyxiating, cancer-causing habits.

@BrianVaughn: I talk to my neighbors because I’m a sociable human being.

Said neighbors like that my conversation don’t increase their risk of illness, including cancer.

The surgeon general confirms that my social crutch is not responsible for 1 in 5 deaths in the U.S.

I’ll not lie. I once made friends by smoking.

I smoked out an entire afterparty.

I probably made more friends in that one night than you will in a lifetime of bonding over cancer sticks.

The grocery store is a 50-minute walk for non-smokers. - Z. Smith Reynolds

As Tar Heels, we spend a tremendous amount of energy proclaiming N.C. State is not our rival for them to not be our rival.

I asked this last week and I will ask it again: Is it Spring Break yet?

I have been at UNC for four semesters now and I have never rushed Franklin. We have lost every goddamn time. This better change on Saturday ... I cannot take another heartbreak.

The only thing “super” about this Super Tuesday is I no longer have to worry about the country going to hell — nope, no more nights worrying about it — it is now a pure reality.

How is Ayn Rand a conservative hero? Besides believing in economic conservatism, she basically opposed everything else they hold dear — Reagan, God (though I guess those are the same thing to them) and a woman’s right to choose.

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’