Kvetching board for April 15, 2016

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Dear concerned driver who just shouted “are you gonna walk or are you gonna text?” at me while I crossed the road: I have a fever and this is the first time I left the house all day to go to class. Sorry I tried to take a call from my mom, you dick.

Less drugs, more pugs.

Follett and Barnes & Noble Education are both laying off people and reporting revenue losses. Why in blue heaven would you want either of these companies running our campus bookstore? That sounds like a great idea!

Sources are overrated. I got into college, I should be able to cite my speculations as reputable.

I will happily swipe in every member of the basketball team ... and football team ... and Computer Science Club ... sorry for wasting my meal plan, Mom.

Also, I used all of my flex money in the first week. There are some parts of meal plans that I like.

Did anyone actually read Part 2 of HB2? Is this unenforceable bathroom stuff a smokescreen for bigger problems...?

I am going to miss Chapel Hill.

No job, no motivation, no need to do anything.

With all the papers I have to write in the next week, I should just compile them into a book. I may actually win the longest book ever award.

Chase Rice, if you are reading this, you should donate the massive amount of money the University paid you to a charity or department.

I am excited for summer, but I am not excited to actually have to do something during it. I am also not excited about doing things in the years that follow.

Four for you, Glen Coco. You go, Glen Coco. And none for CUAB, bye.

To the person who decides when the sprinklers turn on, 1:30 p.m. on Old Campus Upper Quad is not a good time to water the grass. I am going to assume it was a fluke due to them being quickly turned off, but that did not stop the person behind me from getting wet.

Chase Rice and spring football. One is bad for your ears, one is bad for the players’ health. Stay safe on Saturday, Tar Heels.

April: where staying in bed until you die or dropping out of college still seem preferable to going to class.

I hope my final papers are better than the DTH’s kvetches.

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’