I went to Kanye's Saint Pablo tour, and it changed me

In the middle of his three-hour set, in the midst of a hazy arena, Kanye West started to get inspirational.

“What I want to say to you can’t be said in one night,” he said.

It may have been the secondhand smoke, but those words resonated with me.

“The Life of Pablo” dropped on Feb. 14, during an intense period of my life. I was failing all of my classes, struggling with friendships, going through a breakup and experiencing anxiety, depression and insomnia in full-swing. At that point, I was already listening to Kanye West on repeat.

So, naturally, “The Life of Pablo” took over my life. I listened to it walking to class as a reward for going. I listened at work, so I could get through it without losing it.

And, on Monday, that’s why my friends and I drove six hours to Atlanta.

It’s hard to describe how it felt to see Kanye West standing in the middle of an arena, suspended on a floating stage above a mass of fans so enthusiastic about his music that they were willing to brave a force of human bodies to be near him.

I think that some people are meant to perform, and Kanye West is definitely one of them. It takes a person with talent and vision to plan a stage design that is so unique and so perfectly matching with the mood of the album.

And from the hours that we spent listening to both his new material and his older hits like “Stronger,” it’s clear that he puts in so much work because of his passion — he loves what he does, and he loves his life.

He didn’t put “Gold Digger” in his lineup because he missed singing it — he did it because he knows his fans love it, and he loves his fans. He didn’t make the sound technicians start his track again when he wasn’t happy with his performance because he enjoys repetition — he did it because he cares. He didn’t plan for the stage lights to shine on him and on his crowd simultaneously for aesthetic reasons — he did it to highlight the importance of the relationship between an artist and his fans.

Kanye gets a bad name from what many call outbursts, but they’re one of the main reason I love him so much. He’s a person who puts his cards on the table and doesn’t apologize for them. And — often, if you’re really listening — they’re inspired by optimism and joy.

Those qualities were at the forefront of his tour, especially during songs like “Ultralight Beam,” which was what I can only describe as a spiritual experience. And they were definitely apparent in his speech as he encouraged everyone to pursue a life that they love as much as he loves his.

When the concert was over, I stayed in my seat until I was kicked out because how can you leave an idea that you want to keep living in?

What I want to say to Kanye can’t be said in one night, or maybe even in one lifetime. But hopefully this is a start.

@sarahvassello

swerve@dailytarheel.com