If you’re near Genome Sciences, Coker, Wilson and Mitchell, I’d suggest Mitchell’s bathrooms.
Mitchell’s bathrooms are easy to find and conveniently located on the first floor. On your way to the room where it ~all~ happens, you’re provided with a scenic tour of ancient rocks. Upon opening the bathroom door, you’re hit with the smell of Ocean Breeze air freshener. Seagulls can be heard echoing in the distance and the walls suddenly appear to have palm tree wallpaper on them. Not a popular bathroom, Mitchell acts as a getaway from the outside world, where you can do what you got to do without interruption.
I give it a thumbs up.
Vance Hall
9/10
If you’re on your way to Franklin Street and you don’t know where to use the bathroom, Vance has your toilet! Vance boasts a first-floor, single-stall bathroom on the edge of the upper quad.
Vance Hall’s bathroom is hardly ever occupied — it’s not an academic hall — but the Office of Scholarships & Student Aid. So there are no worries of embarrassing someone who is taking too long or embarrassing yourself when you walk out with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
Spray the provided Apple Cinnamon Glade and be on your way to Sutton’s Drug Store.
Carolina Union
8/10
The main floor of Carolina Union has great bathrooms for location.
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The hook on the back of the stall door is strong enough to hold a backpack full of "The Norton Anthology of English Literature," a complete collection of Shakespeare and an extra change of shoes, so you don’t have to feel like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle while you pee with a pack on your back.
Most importantly, you can ask someone to save your spot in the 20-person line at Alpine Bagel, so when you get out of the bathroom, you might be at the front…hopefully.
Gardner Hall
5/10
Does Gardner’s bathroom deserve a 50 percent? Maybe not, but I had to give it points for trying.
Gardner’s bathroom is old. Too old to function.
While most bathrooms are sad because their patrons neglect them, Gardner’s bathroom is sad because it’s coming to the end of its days. Unfortunately, it seems that the most UNC can do is put a small fan in the corner to cool the bathroom’s fevered brow. To use Gardner’s bathroom is to risk an existential crisis and a hatful of tears.
Swain Hall
4/10
Swain Hall has a bathroom on the first floor, but from experience, it is more common to use the bathrooms on the basement level.
Perfect for shooting a scary movie or TV show (someone contact "Stranger Things," we’ve found the perfect corridor for the Demogorgon to burst through), the hall leading to the bathroom has flickering lights and the buzz of white noise.
It’s hard to tell if Swain’s bathroom makes you vulnerable and uneasy, or if it’s the midterm in your next class, but why add to the hysteria? Stay away.
Davis Library
-1/10
Davis Library’s first-floor bathroom is the aging Henry VIII of bathrooms: can’t get its crap together. It’s always dirty. It smells bad. It makes us sad.
We give our all to this library at 1 a.m. Our brains are mushy but full of new knowledge, and we need encouragement and stamina to trudge on. So, we drink water and coffee and energy drinks to stay awake.
All of a sudden, we realize that we have to pee.
We sleepily walk to the back of Davis and when we open the bathroom door, we’re slapped in the face with nasty.
Ultimately, though, it’s our fault that the bathroom is gross. We have to remember to throw our paper towels away in the trash and our toilet paper in the toilet, even if we are half-awake.
~Be the change you wish to see in your public bathrooms.~
@laur_wren04
swerve@dailytarheel.com
