Hi Evangelical Trump supporters, how are you? Does it feel good to transition from one savior to another? We mean Jesus was just some peace-loving hippie — following him was a lot of work. Your new savior allows you to express the vile hate and meanness you have kept bottled up for all these years. Congrats.
Sad McCrory
While this election cycle was awful, at least the wicked witch of North Carolina is dead. Pat, can we call you Pat now? We hope you know that Republicans won a lot of this state, and you most likely didn’t. That goes to show the people don’t really dislike your policies — they just dislike you. So long, friend.
Hurt, but still here
Writing jokes right now is hard. We don’t really have the snarky, irreverent tone we normally do. Rest assured, the quick hits section will continue to crack jokes at Donald’s expense as we distance ourselves from election day. We are just not really feeling in a comedy mood right this moment. It will come back soon.
Not out yet
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The great balance right now: coping with everything while remaining positive. Our situation looks bleak right now, and we are greatly worried for many minority communities in this nation. But all the advocates for equality, Clinton and justice are still here. That has to count for quite a lot.
