In a recent interview, Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway coined the term "alternative facts," which has since gained popularity in both real life and meme culture. Alternative facts do not exist. They are just a bullshit way of telling people that you lied about something you disagree with. Since we disagree on everything about Duke, here are some alternative facts about the second worst university on the earth (we don't want them to be number one at anything).
1. Duke is commonly referred to as the “Ivy of the Southwest Airlines,” as it is the first and only university to offer a semester abroad on quite possibly the worst airline known to humans.
The semester takes place entirely aboard a Boeing 737, which only stops briefly to refuel.
Students are not permitted to exit the aircraft prior to the end of the semester and class may be delayed, cancelled or overbooked without notice or refund.
Students have compared this program to the movie "Snakes on a Plane," if instead of literal snakes, you were stuck on a plane with entitled non-reptilian humanoid snakes for an entire semester.
2. The Duke basketball team appeared as themselves in the 1996 movie “Space Jam.”
The grotesque, multicolored, Mucinex-esque team took on Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes in the basketball game of the millennia as Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes battled the Duke basketball team to free themselves from enslavement.
At the end of the film, Duke players lost to the UNC alum and his cartoon sidekicks and the team was banished from this planet, never to be seen again.
Now if only they had stayed there.
