Spoiler Alert: If you have not watched season seven, episode seven of "Game of Thrones," turn back now.
“Game of Thrones” fans everywhere are still recovering after Sunday night’s finale gave us what we’ve all been waiting years to see. Whether it was blue fire-breathing zombie dragons, murder or incest, “The Dragon and the Wolf” had something for everyone.
Man… I never thought I’d be so pumped to see an aunt finally hook up with her nephew, but hey, that’s Thrones, y’all.
Season seven was no exception to the typical GoT pattern of an action-packed penultimate episode followed by a plot-building finale to set up the next season. After everything that went down north of The Wall last week, this episode used three huge events to set the table for everything still to come in the final season.
Alright, let’s get down to business.
Huge Event #1: The King’s Landing Conference
Everybody who’s anybody in Westeros had a ticket to the Dragonpit for this season’s biggest political summit. It was amazing to see so many characters meet/reunite as all of their individual storylines are finally coming together.
Although some pretty serious political stuff went down, the highlight for me was seeing The Hound and Brienne of Tarth reunite and bond over Arya like divorced parents talking about their child.
You could tell Jon Snow had practiced that dissertation for weeks after he broke out his index cards and PowerPoint on White Walkers.
But, classic Cersei has to ruin everything and can’t just take one for the team to, you know, SAVE ALL OF MANKIND. She’s always scheming, even if it means turning on her own brother/lover.
Mark my words, the clock is ticking. Jaime will kill Cersei.
Although she’s such an evil character that I totally hate, I’ve got to give Lena Headey props for absolutely killing it with Cersei every single week. She’s hands down the best actor on the show, and seeing her and Peter Dinklage finally share the screen again was much appreciated.
Huge Event #2: Janerys Goes to Pound Town
After years and years of waiting for the show’s two hottest young singles to finally get together, #TeamJanerys dreams finally came true.
Like I said, I’ve never been more excited/confused by incest before in my life. What is this show doing to me?
But what made it all the more uncomfortable and confusing was the fact that the entire time Jon, or should I say Aegon, and Dany were hooking up, Bran was reminding us all that they’re related. Come on, Bran, we know they’re related! Can’t we just enjoy a hot aunt and her hot nephew getting it on?
On the other hand, I was a big fan of Bran’s vision of Rhaegar and Lyanna’s wedding, even though Rhaegar looked exactly like Viserys (ew).
As #TeamJanerys sails towards Westeros, it’s only a matter of time until Bran breaks the news to the lovebirds, and hopefully it doesn’t tear apart their entire alliance.
Five bucks says Dany’s already pregnant, though.
Huge Event #3: Mr. Night King, Tear Down this Wall!
Like you didn’t see it coming... I think we all knew this was going to happen the second Dany flew those dragons north, if not earlier.
After an entire season of marching, the White Walkers finally reached The Wall and the Night King traded in his zombie horse for a new whip — a freakin’ blue fire-breathing zombie dragon.
Next thing you know The Wall is no more and the White Walkers have officially entered Westeros. Not looking too hot for the good guys right now.
But more importantly, is Tormund OK? He has to survive so he can go make his monster babies with Brienne!
How amazing was it when Sansa pulled the rug out from under Littlefinger? He was over there posted up on his wall, lurking like always, and then BOOM. Littlefinger just got Stark’d. He literally cried and begged on his knees to the Starks. I can’t imagine a more suitable way for him to go out.
I’m so over Theon. That 10 minutes they spent on him talking with Jon and fighting on the beach could have been spent on something more important, like more Janerys sexy time. But really, I feel like the writers just feel the need to keep him around after dedicating two whole seasons to him being tortured by Ramsay.
When Cersei threatened to have Jaime killed and then The Mountain drew his sword, I’m not gonna lie, I had a mini heart attack. It didn’t help that my HBO GO froze for five minutes right after the sword was drawn.
I’m really bummed that Euron didn’t actually just head out and do his own thing. It seemed a fitting way for him to exit.
So what now? The night is dark and full of terrors… like the possibility of no new Thrones until 2019. Until then, you can find me rewatching every episode, reading every fan theory I can find, and pretty much just looking like this:
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