2. Getting your hand bitten off doesn’t sound very fun. It’s probably the definition of “not fun,” “anti-fun,” and also “f---ing terrible.”
3. Getting your hand bitten off is bad, but getting it bitten off by a demonic clown named Pennywise makes it even worse.
4. Ouch. That probably hurt a lot. Like, a whole lot.
5. By the sounds of Georgie’s screams and pitiful cries for help, I think it definitely hurt.
6. Speaking of his screams, we all know that the woman in the nearby house heard that shit go down. She’s not innocent in this, but hell, who can blame her? I’d do the exact same thing — remember, everybody floats down there, so f--- being a hero. Save a sewer fight with a murderous demon-clown for someone else.
7. Back to Georgie screaming in pain — are we actually sure that the pain he felt was physical? Maybe it was emotional or psychological. Maybe he was right-handed, and had dreams of being a basketball player or pitcher. Do you know how hard it is to train yourself to use your off-hand? I can’t even write my name with my left hand without looking like some illiterate beast, so I definitely empathize with him coming to this realization.
8. And even if it was physical, did he actually feel it? Maybe he was in shock, didn’t truly feel the pain of getting his hand bitten off, and instead was screaming at the sight of a red-nosed motherf----- biting his hand off.
9. OK, he probably felt it.
10. But was it really that painful? I don’t have experience with getting my hand viciously ripped off (nor cut off, chopped off, burned off or any other methods of dismemberment for that matter), so I’m no expert here. Maybe it felt like getting a really bad hangnail? Those are pretty bad too. Yeah, that’s probably it.
11. OK, on second thought, that’s probably not it.
12. On third thought, yeah, I’d say it’s universally accepted that a hangnail pales in comparison with getting a hand torn from your body. Silly me.
13. Finally, let’s address the elephant in the
theater room. This was all Georgie’s fault. Hear me out, hear me out. Parents tell all young children a golden rule: do not, under any circumstances, talk to strangers. Georgie didn’t give a damn. Even when Pennywise offered him a balloon, he declined the gesture, stating that he shouldn’t take things from strangers — it’d probably come in handy if he remembered the actual golden rule, and chose not to speak to a sewer-dwelling clown in the first place. And what happened to him after breaking this rule? A stranger took something, all right — Georgie’s mangled hand (and corpse, for that matter). Kids these days.They never learn.