Perry Carter (First Citizens) and Derek Fulton (Wells Fargo) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
Halloween was so fun last night! Give me more themed content pls!
H. Randy Whipporwill, UNC Class of 2019
You Asked For It: Randy,
Lovin’ your enthusiasm! Here’s a festive mad lib for you:
The Best Halloween Column Ever
Last night I wrote the most _________ Halloween column! The InDesign file was delivered by ____________ and told me to go to the deep dark DTH and _________ all the way to the very top of the spooky __________. I __________ the door code __________.
My friend __________ answered the door dressed up as _____________ and said “______________!” There were _________ different costumes, including _____________ ghouls and mummified Carol Folts.
The editors typing were loud and ___________, so I ______________ until my __________ hurt.
There were also delicious treats to __________, like pizza and Diet Coke and Coke Zero, but my favorite part of the party was the pumpkin _____________ and bobbing for Pantanas.
I can’t wait until next week’s column — it will be even more ______________!
Reese’s peace out!
(Email us your submission and maybe YOU can give us advice.)
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