Yeahyeahyeah, it's that time of year again. The one where all the "basketball fanatics" gather in flocks of sky blue for a once a year, highly anticipated sensation! Want in on the action? Well then, there’s this thing called the Dook - UNC game, and here’s where you should watch it...
In the Smith Center with all the other people
I’ve never personally done this, and I’m too messy to remember to put in for the lottery, but it seems like a great time. Don’t have a ticket? Plenty of people on Facebook pages are selling really expensive envelopes with free tickets inside of them. Is the world of $140 envelopes with complimentary tickets too much for you? Sneak into the stadium the night before on a food cart and camp out! Steal some tranquilizers, have a good friend stuff you into an extra-tall box and mail your unconscious body into the stadium! Cut a wholly large whole-ass hole in the Smith Center’s ceiling and rappel in all cat-burglar like! Do what you gotta do.
On your laptop while you write a paper and pregame with your friends
Your professor told you about this paper on the first day of class, but still, it’s pretty messed up of them to make it due the night of the game. Sweat streams down your face as you read the prompt, a minor convulsion occurs when you see the mandatory page minimum. Mama ain’t raise no bitch tho. Your attention flashes betwixt the laptop and the shots your friends are sloppily thrusting at you.
Really don’t have anything cynical to say about this place — I kinda really love the Varsity. Sorry guys. Watching the world’s most intense basketball rivalries in one of the longest running institutions in the home of America’s oldest public college seems like a pretty cool experience.
Hordes of jersey-clad students will stumble and slur their way into the Franklin Street bars come game night. A local Chad might spill some Busch Light on you, and your wallet will take a fat L, but when we win the place will erupt in a drunken sort of euphoria that’ll stick with you for the rest of your life — if you remember it.
A frat house
Yeah, maybe don’t do this one.
Make your own watch party!
Don’t have moves but have at least two friends? Or even no friends? Make your own event! Try borrowing a projector from the Undergraduate Library and putting the game on a wall. If the UL’s projectors are all checked out then pilfer one from a classroom and do your best to return it the next day.
Unpopular opinion: don’t watch the game
Can’t get in the spirit? Do something else. Can’t think of anything? Call your mom and tell her you love her and that you’re thankful for all that she does. Try your hand at knitting. Adopt a dog. Binge drink but for a different occasion. (Maybe sadness?) Study the Bible. The opportunities are endless.
To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.