YAFI is feeling very tired today. We don’t have the energy to answer your many, many questions. We simply cannot. We are sorry.
Instead, here is a list of things that happened this week that we think are funny and worth sharing.
- The water crisis is hilarious. I (Annie) was on campus when the class cancellation was announced and saw people literally sprinting to Target to get bottled water. (Editor’s note: Kent was one of those people.)
- Over the weekend, we were at the grocery store together and decided to buy dinner there. We are great friends and cook together often. For some reason, Kent decided to buy an entire coffee cake. We ate it in a matter of hours. It was delicious. It had a layer of chocolate on top — “marbled,” as they say. At first, I said, “Kent, we could not possibly eat this whole coffee cake.” But Kent, in his infinite wisdom, reassured me. And he was right, we finished it. WE finished the whole cake.
- I (Kent) enjoyed a refreshing San Pellegrino beverage with a straw. It was refreshing. Don’t worry, the straw was made out of corn. I do love the environment. If you have more questions, consult the Root Cellar.
- Yesterday, at the height of the water crisis, I (Annie) forgot that the water was contaminated and drank a whole He’s Not cup of it. And I’m fine, probably.
- Early Monday morning while exercising at Orange Theory Fitness — before the water crisis happened — a woman lost her phone and I (Kent) found it. When I (Kent) gave it to her, I (Still Kent) noticed she had three missed calls from OWASA. And she said “Oh, shit.” I (Annie) think she works for OWASA. True Story!
Well, guys, that might be all for today. Kent and I are deteriorating as we write this. Does this belong in The Daily Tar Heel? Undoubtedly not. Are we doing our best, given the fact that we haven’t had coffee this afternoon, yet? Yes. To our parents: we are sorry. To Alec, our fearless editor: we are also sorry. To you, our devoted fans: take our C-START course in the spring! SPCL 400-304. See you there.