Today my classmate sent me a link to a Tom Holland movie in development. Oh. My. God. I am screaming. I am SCREAMING! I am sitting in Davis Library, in a wooden chair, with my head facing the ceiling, just straight banshee. That pasty, white face is EVERYTHING. His range in acting from “Spider-Man” to “Not Spider-Man” is going to work so well that I am still just losing it. Chris Evans is joining him too? Sign me up. I can’t find the off button, this news is so amazing. Reminded that Tom exists, I decided to check his Instagram. I saw that post where he popped the top off that champagne. Folks…
I AM SCREAMING. I am cackling so hard. I am in a library and I am screaming. I am doing full-body contortions. I’m flipping through the air and jumping from table to table. There are hoops and fire and ribbons. People are applauding me and now I’m passing out flyers for my LDOC one-woman circus performance. I’ve found my seat again and to the detriment of my work ethic I stumbled upon a Vine compilation video. This time, I’m doing more than screaming.
I am HOWLING. I’ve ripped my shirt, I’m furry, and I’m now consuming the flesh of an unsuspecting first-year on the second floor. I look up and there’s a full moon outside, which is insane since it’s only noon. This content has me transforming in ways I’ve never known possible. Road work ahead? Oh my god, I’m a werewolf now.
Turning into a werewolf? That is so funny, I am DEAD. I am screaming. I died, was reborn and now I am screaming in the library again. I have enough energy to type all of this and simultaneously type all of this. I’ve just come across another puppy video on my Instagram feed and I am crying. My laptop’s short-circuiting at this very moment. Now it’s shutting down I am once again CRYING. As always, live, laugh and cry. Or scream. Or howl.