Which UNC scandal are you?

Last semester, the Editorial Board made its astrological debut by choosing the perfect Franklin Street restaurant for each Zodiac sign. Before we find ourselves in the midst of even more UNC craziness, we thought we’d reminisce on the chaos of the past few years by looking to the stars once again. 

Step aside, Co-Star. We’re the masters of the universe now. 

Aries

Aries, you’re a classic fire sign. Hot-headed and short-tempered, yet bold and independent. Y’all have a lot of ambition.

Scandal: Davie Poplar explosion. Literally. On. Fire.

Taurus

Taurus, you’re a bit of a commitment-phobe. You dislike change and are unwilling to step outside of your comfort zone — which is precisely why you are often so hesitant to let someone take up permanent residence in your heart.

Scandal: Every single member of the administration being interim. Y’all just can’t commit.

Gemini

You’ve probably heard this one before, Gemini — you’re kind of two-faced. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. It just means that you’re adaptable and thrive in almost any social situation. 

Scandal: Carol Folt’s resignation. Whose side was she on, anyways? We still can’t tell.

Cancer

Let’s face it: y’all are always in your feels. Cancers are known for being incredibly complex and mysterious; it can take quite a while to truly get to know them. 

Scandal: The Winston pooper. Because honestly, WTF? We don’t understand you.

Leo

Simply put, Leos are drama queens. They are spicy and love to be in the spotlight. Leos are represented by the lion — this speaks to their courage and ambition. 

Scandal: Silent Sam’s demise. In the words of Queen Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, "You know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation."

Virgo

Most Virgos are perfectionists, making them very goal-oriented and methodical. However, Virgos can also be very calculating due to their dedicated and competitive nature. 

Scandal: SBP elections. Boring, but full of power moves. 

Libra

Ever the diplomat, a Libra is always fair and just. Even though they crave balance and equilibrium, Libras are known for their indecisiveness.

Scandal: The weather. Two hurricanes? A snowstorm? Make up your mind, please.

Scorpio

Scorpios have serious BDE; they are passionate AF and very assertive. We love Scorpios because they value facts over feelings, so we can always trust them to tell it like it is. 

Scandal: Vanity Fair article. “Facts don’t care about your feelings.” — Ben Shapiro. Neither do the Vanity Fair girls, apparently. 

Sagittarius

Sagittarians are witty people who light up any room they walk into. However, they tend to be brutally honest, so they often come across as tactless. 

Scandal: Babes who Blade. Y’all need to learn to keep your mouths shut.

Capricorn

Capricorns are reliable, logical and realistic. They are disciplined yet shy, making them unlikely to take risks and stand up for what they want.

Scandal: Silent Sam’s shrine. Too scared to stick it to the BOG, smh.

Aquarius

Who doesn’t love an Aquarius? Y’all are eccentric and unconventional. You spend a lot of time in your own heads, though, which is why you sometimes come across as a little scatterbrained and insensitive. 

Scandal: Spidergate. A little strange, but we love it anyways. 

Pisces

Pisces tend to be very grounded, but can easily get caught up in illusions. They are escapists by nature, which can be problematic and impractical.

Scandal: OWASA crises, Parts One and Two. Pisces is a water sign, so it just makes sense. Also, Orange County’s water infrastructure is anything but practical.