The Daily Tar Heel
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The Daily Tar Heel

It's finally October. The month of midterms (yikes), pumpkin spice and all things spooky. But, dear readers, do you know what else October brings?

Candy corn. The three-tiered, quintessentially American, highly divisive holiday treat.

In 2018, the Editorial Board officially announced that it was pro-candy corn. Two years later, we’re here to say this: candy corn is still amazing, and we’re continuing to put our full editorial power behind it. 

“But seriously,” the editorial stated, "the words 'candy corn' seem to jolt awake the lifeless bodies of midterm-ridden students and transform them into accredited food critics. If only this passion could energize the voting booths, help us save coffee money or increase student attendance at football games…” 

We couldn’t agree more. In fact, we should talk about how no one who likes candy corn ever brings it up. As a community, we yearn for peace and tranquility. It’s only the anti-candy corners who have something to say. SO much to say, and for what? What do you gain from inciting your heedless attacks? We would like to know.

Fact: candy corn is for the people. According to a Twitter poll conducted by the Editorial Board, about 45 percent of respondents were pro-candy corn, while only about 34 percent were against it. (This math doesn’t add up. It doesn’t need to.)

Another fact: sugar increases dopamine, which creates pleasure. Candy corn is basically all sugar, which means it’s essentially happiness in triangular form. Speaking of triangles, name ONE triangular food that doesn’t absolutely slap. A sandwich cut in half? Slaps. The little cheese triangles in cheddar-flavored Chex Mix? Slap. Pizza? Enough said. 

A third fact: it is magical. Food Network Unwrapped gave the world an inside look to how this seasonal joy is made: individually, in a cast. This means that each and every piece of spooky grain is made with love, joy and magic — just like each and every one of our readers. 

What does candy corn taste like? Halloween. Happiness. A brisk fall evening from your childhood where you went out to participate in the now-abolished tradition of trick-or-treating (thanks, Miss Rona). 

Although Halloween is not our favorite holiday, it is impossible to deny the joy associated with seasonal foods at any time of the year. Candy corn tastes good and feels like fall. What more could we ask for? 

To hate candy corn is — to put it simply — to hate all things fun, cherished and spooky. Sure, you might think it’s too sugary — but what is the point of October if not to indulge in sugary confection? Let yourself have a little fun. Enjoy the season.

So, in summary: if you hate candy corn? Well, you’re wrong. Shut up and JUST DON’T EAT IT.

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