It's finally October. The month of midterms (yikes), pumpkin spice and all things spooky. But, dear readers, do you know what else October brings?
Candy corn. The three-tiered, quintessentially American, highly divisive holiday treat.
In 2018, the Editorial Board officially announced that it was pro-candy corn. Two years later, we’re here to say this: candy corn is still amazing, and we’re continuing to put our full editorial power behind it.
“But seriously,” the editorial stated, "the words 'candy corn' seem to jolt awake the lifeless bodies of midterm-ridden students and transform them into accredited food critics. If only this passion could energize the voting booths, help us save coffee money or increase student attendance at football games…”
We couldn’t agree more. In fact, we should talk about how no one who likes candy corn ever brings it up. As a community, we yearn for peace and tranquility. It’s only the anti-candy corners who have something to say. SO much to say, and for what? What do you gain from inciting your heedless attacks? We would like to know.
Fact: candy corn is for the people. According to a Twitter poll conducted by the Editorial Board, about 45 percent of respondents were pro-candy corn, while only about 34 percent were against it. (This math doesn’t add up. It doesn’t need to.)
Another fact: sugar increases dopamine, which creates pleasure. Candy corn is basically all sugar, which means it’s essentially happiness in triangular form. Speaking of triangles, name ONE triangular food that doesn’t absolutely slap. A sandwich cut in half? Slaps. The little cheese triangles in cheddar-flavored Chex Mix? Slap. Pizza? Enough said.