Editorial: A pitch meeting with … our parents?

Let’s face it – parents know best. They are like live-in therapists, guiding us through every earth-shattering heartbreak, qualm with friends and (admittedly) minor inconvenience.

However, there are limits to our parent’s expertise. We, for one, draw the line at journalism.

There’s no such thing as a bad idea, but some definitely push the envelope. Here’s a compilation of the most envelope-pushing pitches we’ve received from our parents. And who knows, maybe you’ll see some of these turn into editorials soon (but probably not).

Layla Peykamian, Assistant Opinion Editor

If I had a biggest supporter in my journalistic endeavors, it would undoubtedly be my parents. They have enthusiastically been a sounding board for my (occasionally ridiculous) pitches and ever so often have offered their own (occasionally ridiculous) ideas. One they have been pitched to me more than once is “dogs in the White House.” 

What does a pitch of “dogs in the White House” entail? Well, the idea is: President Joe Biden has dogs and former president Donald Trump did not. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am very pleased dogs are back in the White House. I am enthused by it, even. But one cannot make a 500-600 word article out of a singular statement of fact. Maggie and Shahram, in their canine-loving hearts, have had a hard time coming to terms with that. And honestly, it makes me love them more.

Kennedy Cox, Editorial Board Member and Columnist

As we all know, the dining halls have a vegetarian station, but they only serve one main meal option. Last semester, I was able to make any station work because I don’t like to limit myself, but sometimes, I had no choice but to resort to the vegetarian station. The issue is: they give the absolute smallest serving size possible every single time.

Of course, I jokingly sent a picture to my parents every time I received a serving size that isn’t even enough for a toddler, but it got to a point where it was genuinely ridiculous. 

After receiving several pictures, my mom thought I could do “great things for the vegetarian community on campus” by writing an op-ed, but of course, I never did because I didn’t think it was that deep.

Kailee Sullivan, Editorial Board Member

Since I left for college last year, my mom is stuck at home alone with my teenage brother. Recently, while I was complaining about my writer’s block on one of our weekly phone calls, she told me she had an idea for me to write about.  

For the past few years, she has voiced her annoyance with the older high school kids who still trick-or-treat, including my brother. She thinks it’s a scam for them to get free candy while wreaking havoc on the neighborhood and stealing from the children. Pretty cute, but I told her no one trick-o-treats here at UNC. 

Claire Burch, Editorial Board Member and Columnist

One time my mom told me to go and rank every coffee shop on Franklin Street, which wasn’t necessarily a bad idea — that is until I went into the DTH archives and saw about 5+ articles already written. Needless to say, the DTH has you covered for your Franklin Street coffee shop escapades.

Sophie Teague, Columnist

I write a column on gender and reproductive rights, which my mom has inspired many of my pieces for. But one time after a bad experience with a guy, she told me to write all about it and all the things he did wrong. To be fair, this could be an interesting angle, but now anytime any man does me or my friends wrong — love interest, TA, random on the street — she tells me it would make for a good article. Mom, if I wrote about all of these, every man in Chapel Hill would be out for blood … and I would probably have enough to make up the entire paper.

Hannah Kaufman, Columnist

Much to her own detriment, my mom pitched an article about the parents' Facebook group last year. Rather, I stalked the Facebook group on her phone and said “Can I write an article making fun of this?” She encouraged the article but worried endlessly about how her reputation would fare among the 4,800 parents that make up the group. 

In fact, my article was sent to the group and argued about in the comments. Luckily, my mom remained safe and sound, and scrolls through the group incessantly to this day.

My dad, on the other hand, wants me to write an article about Storm Duck. Not his deft defense or his career highlights — his name. He wants me to rank all the ducks I know. According to him, the current ranking looks like: Donald, Storm, Daffy. He claims he’d rank Daffy higher except he had that thing with Goofy (why this bothers him, I have no clue).

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