I don't get involved with sports as a general rule — both because I am stretched thin on what I can make myself care about and also just because it's a safety measure for my fragile heart not to feel what it felt at about 11:15 last night.
If it's any consolation, I've felt this loss before. I was in D.C. for the last Duke game last spring break. In a daylong endeavor to get the best Insta caption ever, I searched for the *only* statue of Benjamin Franklin in the entire capital of our country so I could say I "rushed Franklin" for our win. I did not find a statue. And then we lost.
I'm feeling for all of you today, both as fellow Tar Heels and as millennials who lost potential social media fodder.
- A certain computer science professor at UNC apparently gives assignments like moving around DJ Khaled's head and creating different emojis.
- Some lucky, lucky students paid $3 to hit fake Dook fans with pies in the Pit yesterday. I'm informed today has surge pricing 4.2 times that.
- Our columnist Evana Bodiker goes in on why we can't keep giving excuses for Kanye's problematic comments.
- UNC senior Drew Meyer is doing what I do at the end of every week in the privacy of my living room — eat an entire Vermonster alone for the greater good.
UNC fell to Dook 74-73 in last night's home game, and that's not what was supposed to happen. Brice Johnson's magic wasn't supposed to wear off. Joel Berry wasn't supposed to miss that shot. We were supposed to be burning stuff on Franklin Street last night.
IN PROBLEMATIC MEDIA
UNC students teamed up with the Carolina Women's Center for a post-Grammys talk. The panel discussed gender, pop music and (again) Kanye — the three things that old people say you're not supposed to bring up in polite company, I think.
IN SEXUAL HEALTH
People ages 15 to 24 apparently account for half of new STI diagnoses every year. So you should go get tested at Student Wellness if you're sexually active. Also, if you're reading this at 11 a.m. by chance, I'm probably getting tested right now. Meta.
IN HOLDING ON ONE SECOND
UNCelebrity and traffic angel Joann Isom, like, stops traffic with her kindness. Isom recently found out about a popular Facebook appreciation post for her, and her reaction was precious. Which is why along with Elizabeth II, Rihanna and newsroom adviser Erica Perel, she is my queen.
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