If you know a certain basketball player from last year, please don't let him see this

In 2015 during March Madness, the whole office got together to make their brackets. Being competitive to a fault and knowing little to nothing about sports, I made a Google doc with my co-worker and ranked every team based on the attractiveness of its players.

Sure, our combination of school spirit and unadulterated athletic expertise slid UNC right through the Sweet 16, Elite Eight, fabulous four, terrible twos and into a home run on our bracket. But you know what else carried the Tar Heels to our first place spot? A Google search for "Sasha Seymore UNC pic."

So when I found out today, almost a year later, we were running a story about his post-graduation endeavors in Europe and how generally cool of a person he is, I freaked out. Ask anyone on our Slack channel.

— Danny

QUICK HITS

• Here's how all the presidential candidates are trying to use social media to appeal to the youths — and here you thought only Hillary was a pandering, Baby-Booming mess on Twitter.
• A student-started frozen food company is taking off in its plan to buy and flash-freeze "cosmetically imperfect produce." Glad there's finally a place for us imperfect potatoes out there.
• The Chapel Hill Parks and Recreations Department is working on opening playground that's open and accessible to children of all mental abilities.
• UNC men's basketball beat some team called the Wolfpack (?) in an 80-68 win last night.

IN NOW-PUBLIC CRUSHES

Former UNC basketball player and perennial UNC deity Sasha Seymore is still super cool. Before he was traveling around Europe and studying social justice, he was a Morehead-Cain scholar and senior class president, among other stuff. If being president of the Dozen Doughnut Dash doesn't just exude "Renaissance man," I don't know what does.

IN THE KWEEN CITY

Charlotte passed a historic expansion to its nondiscrimination ordinance to include LGBT identities. Businesses in the city can no longer legally turn away customers based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Also, people are now free to use the public bathroom associated with their self-identified gender rather than biological sex. You go, Charlotte.

IN OUR OPINION

Bojangles needs to help us out here. Basketball season is rough. Setting the free-biscuit score requirement for our men's basketball team to 100 points is upsetting and rude and ridiculous. It should be 90 points. Or 100 points should get us Cajun chicken biscuits, at least. Ugh.

IN THE BLOGS

We have the official list of ~Tornado's and Tornadon'ts~ for the next big weather scare. This is for you, neighbor who was out walking her dog at 4:15 yesterday. If you want #news about yesterday's storms, 1) why? and 2) here you go.