I’m going to say it. I think E.T. is one of the worst movies ever made. I am very scared of it, yes, but I know that it’s justified. 

Let’s start here: E.T. looks terrifying. I refuse to hear anything otherwise. I cannot believe that since 1982, parents everywhere have subjected their children to watching a movie starring an alien (that looks like a detached thumb) and aren’t thinking that on some level, their kid will be scared. 

Also, E.T.'s voice! Are you seriously telling me that if you heard that voice in your room in the middle of night, you wouldn’t think that your life was about to end? What about how his body glows? Or that he heals people? Or what about that scene when he dressed up like a toy?

Beyond this, if I’m going to cry over a children’s movie that teaches the power of love and friendship through a glorified pet, I’m going to watch Where the Red Fern Grows. And if I’m going to watch a movie with a young Drew Barrymore, I’m going to watch Never Been Kissed. Honestly, I cannot believe that this movie is regarded as a masterpiece, when to me, it feels like a nightmare that won’t end. 

Speaking of, both the Board of Governors and the Board of Trustees met yesterday and came out with two separate statements about, you guessed it, Silent Sam. That probably felt like a nightmare to them, too.