When it rains, it pours.
This phrase has been especially appropriate this week as the remnants of Hurricane Ida have saturated campus.
Only one thing has topped the cold, damp and dreary conditions — the notorious golf umbrella.
Two times larger than any umbrella should be, the golf umbrella crowds walkways and pokes you in the eye, all the while shrouding its carrier in a protective, water-resistant bubble.
“I judge them for having a golf umbrella,” said sophomore Emily Horton. “They’re unnecessary. You don’t need a golf umbrella. You’re perfectly fine with a small umbrella.”
Horton said she recently experienced a three-way umbrella collision after narrowly avoiding another collision immediately beforehand.
My advice to avoid having your eyes gouged by an umbrella's spokes: If you see a golf umbrella, run in the opposite direction.
And if you own one, leave it at home.
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