‘Twas the night before finals, and through UNC, students run wild on a weird naked spree.
Finals Week. Two words that will send any college student into an anxiety-induced fit of hyperventilation. A week described by Urban Dictionary as, “Invented to suck the fun out of life and kill the dreams of college students”. Touché.
So obviously, the only rational way to deal with this period of high stress is to abandon your clothing and run rampant with a bunch of strangers in the cold! Logic!
I mean, I guess the Davis Streakers do help us all cope with finals, and stress and misery. Going with this, what we probably need as a student body are more traditions to cushion the blow of what seems like (and sometimes actually is) impending doom.
Here are some finals traditions we desperately need:
1. De-Stress Dance Party at Polk Place
What better way to de-stress than have a spontaneous dance party with 18,000 of your closest friends? Playlist would include straight up jams such as T Swift’s “Shake It Off,” “Trap Queen,” “Hit the Quan” and, of course, the get hype classic, “All I Do Is Win.” Not only would it relieve some stress in the middle of finals week, but it would pump up the entire student body — just what they need to slay the remainder of their exams. AND, given the recent celebrity sightings on campus, maybe UNC could swing a special guest for a performance (Ed Sheeran, come back!!)
2. Delivery Discounts
Local businesses should make it a tradition to discount delivery costs during finals week. Much appreciated.
3. End of Finals Burn Party
It’s the last day of finals, you’re cleaning out your dorm, and you’re faced with a dilemma: what do I do with all my old notes from this semester? Do I bring them home? Recycle them? Put them in a pile under my bed and let them gather dust and accumulate mold? This is where a End of Finals Burn Party would come in handy. Joyous after the last final, every student would meet up for an epic bonfire using old notes as kindling.
4. Ice Skating in the Pit
Sure, this is physically impossible, BUT, if the Pit can become the Pool when it rains, then during a cold day, it would be HELLA to fill the Pit with water, wait for it to freeze over, then have an ice skating extravaganza. The line would probably reach all the way to Franklin Street, but it’d be worth it.
5. Puppy Day
A day during finals week in which everyone is allowed to bring their puppies on campus. And the University supplies puppies. And puppies are everywhere. And they make everything better.
To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.
