Paul Ryan wins the position he really didn’t want
Apparently former Speaker of the House John Boehner literally guilted Ryan into taking over his position. I like to imagine the conversation went something like this: “Oh you were going for VP? That job that barely has any specific responsibilities? Instead, how about taking this grueling position that I hated?” Ryan won the speaker election with 236 votes Thursday, but more importantly, he won the Twitter handle @SpeakerRyan.
Obama sends troops to Syria
On Friday, the White House announced they are sending about 50 special operations troops into Syria to assist Kurdish forces fighting ISIS (Because this wouldn’t be a legitimate news recap if ISIS wasn’t mentioned). For four years, President Barack Obama has been avoided putting boots on the ground. But when Russia got involved, Obama might have gotten FOMO.
China becomes pro-sibling
China officially ended its one-child policy on Thursday, most likely because the nation faces an aging population, but maybe because they got tired of so many only-children. Instead of abandoning the law that creates gender imbalances and forces women to use contraceptives and in many cases become sterile, they are just increasing the number of allotted children to two. Dream big.
Third GOP Debate...against CNBC
This just in: Nobody likes the mainstream media. Specifically nobody likes CNBC after they hosted the third Republican presidential debate Wednesday, and kind of butchered it. You know it’s bad when even top Democrats agree that the debate was a disaster. GOP candidates are angry, and the Republican National Committee cancelled its upcoming NBC debate because the letters are just too similar. One less debate?? How will we all survive?
Argentina’s presidential race goes to a runoff
Argentina has been ruled by the same power couple for 12 years. In that time, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner and her late husband succeeded in implementing leftist policies, getting a political movement named after them and making other couples feel bad about their relationships. Now, Kirchner cannot run for a third consecutive term, and her party’s candidate, Daniel Scioli, did not win enough of the vote to grab the Oct. 25 election. If opposition candidate Mauricio Macri gets enough votes Nov. 22, the “Kirchnerismo” era could be over. Except everyone she knows/is related to still has a position in the government, so there’s that.
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