If you’re not sure who you’re voting for this election season, you’re not alone.
Narrowing down candidates based on policy decisions, especially if they're very similar, seems like a task best left to the political science majors — or at least people who don’t have midterms this week.
So, what’s a busy college student to do? American consumerism has your answer!
Here’s a compilation of the best/worst things that each current presidential candidate is selling on their #official campaign store. If the debates aren’t convincing you, maybe their #swag will:
Donald Trump (R)
“The same iconic hat as worn by Donald J Trump with a larger logo so you can really take a stand.”
But, like, isn’t camo supposed to make you blend in?? It’s worth noting that it’s also “Proudly made in the USA.” Shocker.
“RAH-RAH-RAH!! Let's cheer Donald J Trump all the way to the White House! Our spirit poms are just the thing to show your excitement about making America great again!”
Yes, these are for rah rah rah real.
Bernie Sanders (D)
Feel the Bern Coffee Mug ($15)
“Caution: You'll definitely feel the Bern with this mug. No seriously, be careful. You're gonna need those hands to vote for Bernie Sanders.”
A completely and unapologetically forward heat warning
This shirt comes with a heartfelt endorsement from OBEY founder, Shep Fairey, along with some serious street cred. Allow 2-3 weeks for delivery because this item is SO #trendy and #popular.
Hillary Clinton (D)
“Be the coolest person at the party (with the coolest soda).”
I mean, Hillary just “gets” us millennials, amirite?
“Bringing a whole new meaning to casual Friday.”
*Disclaimer: Pantsuit bottoms not included.
“The perfect touch for any home, whether it’s 1600 Pennsylvania Ave or simply Pennsylvania.”
So now we know what Bill’s been up to during the campaign.
Marco Rubio (R)
Marco Knit Hat ($25)
“Stay warm this winter season while supporting Marco in our knit hat, made with ring-spun acrylic yarn. As always, made in the USA.”
Honestly, a great gift idea for anyone named Marco.
Marco Polo ($45)
“Show your support for Marco and his campaign for a new American Century with a Marco Polo. 100% pre-shrunk cotton. MADE IN THE USA.”
Only making the list because: Marco Polo. HA.
“Show your support for Marco with our Ru(BAE)o t-shirt. As always, made in the USA.”
Finally. A cringe-worthy shirt for the politically zealous tween in your life.
John Kasich (R)
This might be the most interesting thing on his website because of the awkward hand illustration, but sadly, it’s out of stock.
Ben Carson (R)
Scrub Top ($24.50)
For those of you who are already planning your Halloween costume. It’s also on sale, along with everything else in Ben Carson’s online store. Get it while you can!!
"Inspire your children with the true-life story of a boy who went from “class dummy” to brilliant pediatric surgeon. Order a copy of “Gifted Hands” for your kids today!"
I just really appreciate that he calls himself a "class dummy." And that he revised the book for children. So relatable. So kind.
Ted Cruz (R)
Cruz Coloring Book ($10)
“Get your official Cruz Coloring Book Today! Please allow for extra delivery time due to high demand.”
Supposedly a great stress reliever during midterms.
A clap back to Trump's snapback. I see you, Ted Cruz.
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