The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Wednesday February 8th

View from the Hill

Ted Cruz, a man of many identities?

Who is Ted Cruz — the Texas senator and candidate for the Republican nomination for president? Three theories are included below.  

I) Ted Cruz as the Zodiac Killer:

The evidence is staggering that Ted Cruz is the notorious serial killer, who terrorized northern California in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Question 19 of a recent Public Policy Poll asked if people think he is, or nah.

The results:

“We find that 38 percent of Florida voters think it's possible that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. 10 percent say he for sure is, and another 28 percent say that they are just not sure. Cruz is exonerated from being a toddler serial killer by 62 percent of the Sunshine State populace," the report said. 

Here is some potential evidence for the charges:

Exhibit A) His likeness

Exhibit B) Sen. Cruz's affinity for weapons 

Exhibit C) Cryptic messages

Support the cause with a shirt, here.

II) Ted Cruz as Kevin from The Office:

But is he nice enough though?

Watch as one brave investigative reporter confronts the man, the myth, the legend to find out for himself.

Is Ted Cruz Kevin From The Office?

Is Ted Cruz actually Kevin from The Office?

Posted by NowThis Election on Tuesday, February 23, 2016

 Is Ted Cruz Kevin From The Office?

Posted by NowThis Election on Tuesday, February 23, 2016

III) Ted Cruz as a conservative ideologue who gained power thanks to Tea Party support and has a weird face:

Backpfeifengesicht is German for “a face that needs to be hit.” 

A look at his politics:

A look at (and explanation of) his face:

Which theory do you side with?

state@dailytarheel.com

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