Kelsey Weekman (Make Twitter Great Again) and Drew Goins (Drew!) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
You: I totally bombed that midterm. How can I recover?
You Asked for It: You are defined by more than your grades. But remember that grades are obviously more important than your sleep, social interaction and mental health. So looks like you actually really hecked up!
Know that at some point, everyone has failed. (This does not include Beyoncé, hopefully your doctor or Drew.)
To cheer up, do something you’re good at, like maximizing your plate in the dining hall or neglecting your reading homework. Learn from your basic mistakes. Next time, save precious study time by breathing less. Offer your professor a more personalized bribe instead of the usual. Delete your Facebook account and demand people talk to you through StudyBlue.