Kelsey Weekman (happiest she’s ever been to stare at the cardboard backing of a picture frame for eternity) and Drew Goins (third or fourth happiest he’s ever been to stare at the cardboard backing of a picture frame for eternity) are the writers of UNC’s premier (only!) satirical advice column. Results may vary.
You: How do I keep basketball season going after today?
You Asked for It: Despite the most crushing defeat since Michael Jordan played baseball, it’s natural to want to extend the hype of basketball season past the final game.
The Dean Dome viewing experience during March Madness was great, but it doesn’t have to stop there. Throw other things up on the arena big screen: “House of Cards,” the campus Snapchat story, your Psychology 245 Quizlet.
Custom-order Fathead stickers of basketball players for your house so you’re never far from them. For the most realistic effect, also order a Fathead of a yellow-jacketed security employee who will keep you from approaching the Fatheads of the team or sitting in any unattended seats nearby.