kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the girl that thought I put my number in her phone last Saturday: Thanks for helping Japan out by donating $10 to 90999. We live in a double-spaced, size-12, Times New Roman world.
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the girl who started crying on her way out of the advising building: Walking through a campus tour group may not have been the best advertisement for UNC. To all the State kids who complained to your newspaper about the comical flyer we posted all over your campus Sunday night: Quit your whining and do what any self-respecting student would do — try to prank us back. There are some things in the world that you are better off not knowing.
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Humans vs. Zombies, a game that truly transcends the Greek/non-Greek divide. To the girl on the quad listening to Rebecca Black with headphones in: Play it loud, play it proud.
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the couple I saw holding hands while going for a run: Really? To the guy who handed me a CHiPS show flyer and then offered me a baby: Are you for real? It’s Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday… So that means yesterday was Thursday, and tomorrow is Shut Up Rebecca Black Day. Dear COMM 130 teacher: Could you really not find any examples to show us other than the German propaganda film “Triumph of the Will” starring Adolf Hitler? To the cute guy who had to pick up the condom that flew out of my backpack in Starbucks, take the hint! To Marvin, Robert and Greg: I’m no longer mad you guys took the gifts and money.
Read More »Hey Ian, look on the bright side. At least you don’t have to resign now? Sex-skyping is not socially acceptable. That’s what Spring Break is for.
Read More »CUAB, we finally give you permission to stop trying. To the girl in Lenoir that referred to the Beatles song “Hello, Goodbye” as “that song that was made for Target commercials”: Drop dead.
Read More »Can we give Kendall Marshall a nickname already?! The following seem appropriate: Special K, Ken-Possible, and Kendelicious. Dear UNC Men’s Basketball team: I know our loss to Duke really put a damper on everyone’s moods, but giving John Henson a plastic fork at the restaurant where I work honestly made my week.
Read More »All those in favor of Brooklyn, say aye! All opposed … say neigh? Wanted: Fellowship of nine to take back Larry Drew’s championship ring and cast it into the fires of Mordor.
Read More »Dear SBP candidate, Anyone who uses a phallic symbol on their campaign posters deserves to be labeled “cocky” by campus media. UNC Greeks, while it may have been 70, its not time to break out the pastels quite yet.
Read More »Dear Rick, Sorry to hear about your freezing hands. I thought they had heat in the Dean Dome. Dear Student Stores, I appreciate the Christmas trees in the window, but even Charlie Brown would agree that keeping them up through January is a bit much.
Read More »Dear manager sitting behind the bench: Please don’t look utterly disgusted to be sitting behind Roy and the boys; there are about 10,000 girls in line to replace you. First, Pluto’s not a planet, now there is a new zodiac sign. Maybe the world really is coming to an end.
Read More »To the drunk man on the J Bus at 9 a.m. that asked if the next stop was Wine Street and Colombia Liquor: I guess it is never too early for Thirsty Thursday? The UNC backcourt got a B on the DTH midseason report card? I guess grade inflation really is a problem around here.
Read More »So Marvin, if you’re not doing anything for the next month or so, want to be on our flag football team? To the girls at Weaver Street Market: Is that a co-op number under your arms? Oh no, that’s just armpit hair. A lot of it.
Read More »Rick Ingram already has a rick4sbp listserv? Sounds like UNC student government should be WikiLeaks’ next target. To the couple who helped me after I flicked them off and tried to steal their parking space: I wish I was half as good a person as you two are.
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the girl who threw up into her own Ugg last night: Congratulations.
Read More »_Introducing the newest Daily Tar Heel opinion page feature: Quote File.
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the guy making inappropriate gestures at me while I was on the treadmill: I can see you in the mirror. To the old man watching anime in Davis Library: At least it wasn’t porn.
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the boy making my sandwich at Alpine: There is a fine line between being funny and completely insensitive. Guess which one making fun of my stuttering problem by asking me if I wanted a “puh-puh-pickle” would be under?
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Dear Old East RA: Is it really necessary to start every e-mail with “Greetings Minions”? To the RA across the hall: Could you please refrain from having sex every school night?
Read More »kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain I liked the Chilean Miners when they were still underground, now they’re so mainstream. To the girls at Davis talking about doing blow, I believe this is an “Adderall Only” zone. Professor: Don’t say I said something I didn’t say in the debate.
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