The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Saturday January 22nd

Kvetching Board


Kvetching board for October 15, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the people who choose which Kvetches to publish, which one of you do I have to sleep with to be chosen? To the girl who itemized her sorority expenses — too bad all that money couldn’t buy you some class. Stop talking about how you have soccer practice and games.

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Kvetching Board for October 8,2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To my staff member who said, “Erectile Dysfunction is a growing problem.” You are amazing. To the guy in SASB who laughed at a picture of a girl passed out on the floor on Facebook and then looked around to see if anyone heard him: I did. Why does my RA keep trying to lure me into his room with candy and condoms? Just because you wrote your kvetch in French doesn’t make you chivalrous.

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Kvetching Board for September 24, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Socialists, I would love to read your newspaper, but isn’t making me pay for it a little bourgeois? To the guy I hooked up with last week that drives the black Hummer, I wish you were as big as your car. Dear body hair police: If I want to braid my armpit hair, I will. Go gay!

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Kvetching Board for September 3, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the kid walking around campus with a phone charger around your neck, this isn’t Futurama. So Marvin, if you’re not doing anything for the next month or so, want to be on our flag football team? Tracey, party of 12: you’re supposed to tip at restaurants on Franklin Street.

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Kvetching board for June 17, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complainDear vuvuzelas: Why must you make me avoid ESPN at all costs?Dear UK goalkeeper, thank you for screwing up. We love you, the United States.To the person who keeps complaining about having their bike stolen … SPOILER ALERT: Using a lock helps prevent this.

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Kvetching board for May 27, 2010

kvetch:v.1 (Yiddish) to complainDid the smoke monster leave the “Lost” island and invade South Campus? Oh wait, that’s just the construction.To the girls upset about not having a boyfriend - make an effort.  Talk to a guy. You’ll be surprised how often it works. So quit your kvetching.

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Kvetching board for May 20, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complainDear ex-boyfriend: Thanks for almost running me over with your bike. You’ve already crushed me once, you don’t need to do it again.To the man standing uncomfortably close behind me at the Davis ATMs, I just let out an SBD. You’ve been warned.Dear New Jersey: Your shows are like Busch Light — cheap yet satisfying.

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Year’s best kvetches

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complainTo the girl in my chemistry class with “think” tattooed above her butt crack: I did, and no thanks.Who do I have to blow to get my kvetch chosen? Dear puke on Stadium Drive I passed this morning: Oh, how I wish to remember if you are mine …

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Kvetching board for April 23, 2010

Kvetch:v.1 (Yiddish) to complainTo the girl in the Pit shouting, “If you have to pee, you might as well do it in a cup:” I’m not sure what you’re advertising for, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want it.To the girl in the suite next to ours: I think my ear has chlamydia.To my (female) roommate: The ladies in your girl-on-girl porn may not wear bras, but you should.

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Kvetching board April 15, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complainTo the guy sitting next to me in class who got up and moved two seats over when I congratulated you on getting the professor’s question right: Why?To the guy in HoJo who told us to move our pizza box at 12 a.m. and claimed to be an RA: Stop being a creeper.

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Kvetching board for April 9, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complainTo the Manly dorm housekeeper who declared that our elevator doesn’t appear to be working: We don’t even have an elevator.To the bird who pooped on my STOR 415 test: I already thought my grade was BS. Way to pile it on.

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Kvetching board for March 26, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complainIt’s been so much harder to have sex in Davis Library after they raised the doors and installed bigger windows.To the couple watching a foreign film and picking each other’s scalps in Kenan’s lounge: WTF?To the girls who screamed and waved condoms at us out of a car: Yes, we accept these advances.

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Kvetching board for March 19, 2010

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complainDear Intro to Country Music: Way too intense.To the dude with the Bob Barr bumper sticker, listening to ‘Single Ladies’ while looking for local shooting ranges: You’re creepy.To my across-the-hall neighbor: It was funny to find you randomly asleep on my couch. It wasn’t so funny when I found the pee later.

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