Summer school is academia’s one-night stand: hard, hot and fast … but rarely regrettable.
Yesterday I saved two students $125 each, but I don’t want a thank you. I want a kvetch.
Shout out to the girl in the UL who just shut down the cute couple whispering sweet nothings to each other. I kick puppies for fun myself.
UNC: Voted #1 Plant Sex Life by Playboy Magazine.
Let’s be honest, if Mike Rice had been throwing those basketballs at Duke players, would anybody really care?
To the girl with a Blackberry: Lol, you have a Blackberry.
So we send our solid waste to Durham and they send us their criminals? Seems like a fair trade to me.
Trading basketball tickets is dishonorable? In ECON 101, it was called “market efficiency.”
if I don’t get phase one Duke tickets, I will do to the CAA what Danny Green did to Greg Paulus.
Ethical dilemma: If I gave up soda for Lent, can I still use my coke-flavored condom?
I know why we need a portal: So Duke students can see what attractive girls look like.
Girls are always trying to give me their numbers because I work at the SRC. By numbers I mean PIDs.
To the girl violently scratching her crotch in the UL: Take a bath or something.
Realizing that the only time you’ve accepted a Safe Walk was when you drunkenly peed in the UL after stealing pumpkins from Frat Court.
kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
Genome Sciences Building: Making seniors feel like first-years since 2012.
To the lovely ladies of UNC: Think you can let go of the boots and heels in Davis during finals? Sincerely, all of us who hate hearing you from a couple hundred yards away.
The creation of “Carolina Compliments” and “Oh Hey” makes me feel even more like the forever alone meme.