The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Sunday June 4th

Kvetching Board


Kvetching board™

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the asshole riding a skateboard to and from the bathroom on the eighth floor of Davis: Is this really who you are?

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Kvetching board for March 23, 2012

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain That awkward moment when you’re walking down the dorm hallway and smell something funny, and then you realize you’re on the guy’s floor.

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Kvetching board for March 2, 2012

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Spring Break, defined by UNC Professors: “a whole week to study for an exam on the following Monday.” To the person sitting alone at a four person table in Lenior: You go Glenn Coco!

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Kvetching board for Feb. 24, 2012

kvetch ’kvech, ’kfech: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the girl in Davis with Facebook up on her computer, a TV show on her iPad, and playing a game on her iPhone … all simultaneously: Can you help me study for my test? To my corporate finance professor who said, “This may look like a big number to you, but it doesn’t to me:” we already knew you’re the one percent.

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Kvetching board for Feb. 10, 2012

kvetch ’kvech, ’kfech: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To my RELI 140 TA who started Thursday’s class with “So who won the game?”: Just be thankful I take the Ten Commandments very seriously, particularly the sixth.

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Kvetching board™

kvetch ’kvech, ’kfech: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Have I signed a petition for SBP? Yeah, yours will be my fourth. To the girl Facebook-creeping on “the cute blonde guy with the whorish girlfriend:” That whore sits behind you.

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Kvetching board for Jan. 20, 2012

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Poli professor, when teaching about the Rwandan Genocide in the future, don’t say that you’re “butchering” the pronunciation. Thanks, Wikipedia, for making it acceptable to black out on a Wednesday. Dear Professor, sorry the paper I just submitted says “DON’T FORGET A TITLE THIS TIME, STUPID” on top.

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Kvetching board for Dec. 7, 2011

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the students in my organic chemistry class that made 90s on the test: Tell me your secret, because the standard deviation was higher than my grade. To the guy listening to Rihanna’s “We Found Love”: Yes, the UL at 7 a.m.

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Kvetching board for Nov. 11, 2011

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain To the jacked guy always blasting dubstep: those pink headphones make me wanna drop my panties harder than Skrillex’s baselines.

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Kvetching Board for October 28, 2011

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain @Mark Viser: I was going to call in zombies to lay siege to your office until we decided we could find better brains elsewhere. Composites in Hummers, cones in trees, bras on libraries…yep, it’s hell week alright. I’m only voting for Lee Storrow if he rides a horse through the pit. Wide-ruled blue books!? Is this some sort of sick joke? Come on SBP candidates, you need to address the important issues. To whoever identified both their gender and ethnicity as “Alien from Mars” in UNC’s official LGBTQ Campus Climate Report: Thank you for standing up for a crucial, yet underrepresented segment of the student body. I view toilet paper ply a lot like UNC views a GPA: If it’s less than a 2.0, it is not in good standing. Humans v. Zombies: Just adding to the list of ineligible men at UNC. Austell got engaged?! Does he realize cargo shorts and a T-shirt aren’t appropriate wedding attire? Dear College Republicans: being to the left of Mussolini doesn’t make you a “flaming, Marxist leftie.” Love, flaming Marxist leftie. To the three guys smoking a bowl on the quad at 8:30 a.m.: isn’t it a little early…? And no, I will not swipe you into Lenoir. To the professor who brought a rooster to class: Could you warn us next time before you pull your cock out? Shouldn’t it be Zombies v. Humans? Surely the humans are the home team. To the toilet seats of the UL—what bad breakup left you with such permanent scarring? Bryn Renner takes longer to make a decision than a middle aged woman at the front of the line at Starbucks. Hey Wolfpack: every time we think you hit rock bottom, you just keep digging—half-price basketball tickets on Groupon? WTF? As a recent alumnus returning for homecoming, I’m pretty pumped about the Occupy Chapel Hill movement. We’re talking about the 99 percent of us who’ll be occupying the bars, right? Next month is No Shave November, followed by Look Like Joaquin Phoenix December. When people tell you that “you need to get out more,” they mean without bandanas and Nerf guns. To the Manning Drive zombie group: In case you didn’t figure it out, I am not a human. But yelling “Oh s—-!” and sprinting away every night is my new favorite hobby. #ClosetNerd Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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Kvetching board for October 19, 2011

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain Attention first-years: Late Night with Roy is NOT an event when Roy Williams decides to eat at Rams Head. LeBron is ring-less, the NBA is still in a lockout and Barnes is on the cover of USA Today.

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