Sometimes stories here at the University fall through the cracks. I catch them for a segment that I like to call "I Completely Ripped This Off From `The Daily Show.'" Clef Hanger Ticket Scandal Uncovered Rumors are running rampant that ticket distribution for tonight's Clef Hanger concert is rigged. Hordes of adoring fans were disappointed when they discovered that their tickets were for the balcony or mezzanine sections. "This is crazy!" said an underclassman in a tight-fitting pink halter top. "I was 18th in line when tickets went on sale in the Pit on Monday.
Heard of Qatar? If you haven't, it's probably a good time to brush up on Qatar trivia, because the small, Middle Eastern country has offered to buy a piece of UNC -- and our administration is all too happy to oblige. Here's what's on the auction block: a Kenan-Flagler Business School diploma bearing the name of UNC-Chapel Hill. Our only bidder is the Qatar Foundation, a group headed by Her Highness Sheikha Mouz Bint Nasser Al-Misnad, the second of three wives of the ruling emir of Qatar.
It's that do-nothing-time once again in Chapel Hill -- the week between Fall Break and Halloween. The apathy gods have swooped down on our little college town and stolen any concentration we've built up during the past month. There is little to distract us from this mindless void. Nothing is happening on campus. The bombing in Kabul is monotonous, and no one has died of anthrax inhalation in the past three days. No student wants to think about waking up Saturday morning at 6 a.m. for line check. Heck, we don't even have a football thrashing this weekend.
Today marks our 208th anniversary as the first state university. Legend has it that the skies are always Carolina blue on Oct. 12, and today will be no different as we lounge on the quad and thank our founding fathers for canceling classes. University Day could not come at a better time. During the past month our school has been highly focused on relief efforts for the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Our community has responded in remarkable ways -- a memorial, student-led fund-raisers, vigils, topic-specific lectures, teach-ins and a week dedicated to race relations.
This summer my roommate Erica and I traveled to Thailand. We didn't have a "real reason" to go like some who build houses for flood-ravaged villagers or proselytize devout Buddhists or who have full-ride summer "educational vacations." We went to, well, just go. Immediately, people think that two American girls in Thailand automatically spells trouble -- we are either going to be imprisoned for drug smuggling or enslaved in the sex trade. That's only true in the movies -- so why is that the first thing that comes to mind when there's an American in Thailand?
It's starting to feel like fall. This past week, the changing season rolled into Chapel Hill and brought with it chilly evenings, layered clothing and, finally, the new television lineup. It's about time we started focusing on the important questions: Is Rachel pregnant? Why is "Dawson's Creek" filming at Duke? (They have neither a creek nor a nightlife.) The summer reruns were becoming routine. "Friends" started to look like a sick group of seventh-year seniors -- platonic friends coupling off for lack of something better to do.
Open up The Daily Tar Heel classifieds on any given day, and there's an offer: "Seeking healthy females (ages 18 to 33) willing to donate eggs to infertile women. Call or e-mail for information. Please include name and address. $2000 for complete participation. Anonymity is preserved." Let's take a look at this seemingly harmless plea for help.
Do students care about U.S. News & World Report's college and university rankings? Probably not. Do students care if higher education is being fundamentally mucked up? Zip on that one, too. Let's rephrase the last two questions: Anyone care if your college education is being manipulated by U.S. News? Maybe a bit. Here's the lowdown -- the rankings are affecting you personally. Don't believe me? Pull out your last tuition bill -- it increased drastically since the 1995 and 1999 tuition hikes, a result of the rankings.