Ally — it’s a term we throw around too often.
It can literally fit onto a button, sewn onto a shirt or sleeve and most often is used as a weapon in front of crowds without thinking twice. This has to stop. Ideas of allyship must radically transform, along with the notion of solidarity and coalition.
“Allies” often misunderstand their purpose, energy and impact in a space centering lives and the experiences of those of an oppressed identity. In a lot of examples, those who are allies miss the point of speaking out and naming systems of violence, such as racism, sexism, etc. and instead take up time to focus on themselves. This most often looks like speaking over voices, invalidating an experience or distracting from the flow of the event.
While not all allies are trash, having allies — those who come to support but disengage or lose interest immediately after — are nonessential to the activism taking place. While the ally is urged to participate either by an internal pressure or anxiety to “show up,” what is often missing is mutuality. Developing a sense of mutual interest reshapes the definition of allyship. In this scenario, allies are no longer on the periphery of activism but understand that when systems of oppression are eradicated, we all become more free. In other words, when demands are unmet for one oppressed group, we all lose out. Not to overlook differences of opinion or homogenize politics into categories of right and wrong, but to show that we each have an equal stake in what is happening around us and must find our connections past the privileges we embody.
And how can we show valid reciprocation without personifying harmful allyship?
Listening; It’s one of our senses and comes in forms of art, poetry, music as well as at marches, rallies and protests. To really listen does not mean sharing an occasional opinion on how an activist could make better use of their time or how you would address an issue — save that for a meeting. Buy an activist coffee or lunch. Follow them on social media and come to more event than one. To listen also means remaining silent, and while counterintuitive to reciprocity, this is most important. It shows humility despite social position. It shows a willingness to be open to ideas, but being unafraid to act.
At both ends of the relationship, autonomy should never be lost. Reciprocation is not the equivalent to compromise or doing the work for someone who is capable. Quite often we do not see activists as capable and autonomous beings.
However, while this reciprocity is most ideal, it, too, can be abused and mistreated. Take for instance the (white) women’s suffrage movement, the civil rights movement and the movement for marriage equality for same-sex couples. In each of these examples, intersections of race and gender set black and non-black women of color as “allies” to white men, white women and black men, while their interests fell to the side. Is it really such a radical idea to believe that the liberation of us all begins with the liberation of black and non-black women of color? It must not be, because as specific rights for black women have continued to go unheard, more and more social movements arise.
In the past few years we have seen more attention paid to black and non-black transwomen of color with many social movements centering the experiences of transgender people of color. These movements have been created, maintained and peopled by trans and queer individuals working in and outside their communities, taking a stand against anti-blackness.
