Bojangles, you dirty, selfish, beautiful beast. We love you, but you tease us so.
On Saturday, as the crowd shouted for biscuits, our Tar Heels fell short. This marks the sixth time this season that the UNC basketball team has been unable to reach 100 points at home but was above 90.
We need more biscuits. The point total should be lowered to 90 to allow for Bo’ Time. Because the current total is only happening in overtime. Now, some will say that this issue is not important or vital to this university. Or that we are complaining about something that is just an advertisement anyway. Well, we want biscuits, dude.
Someone has to call out the Bojangles promotion for what it is: a greedy, exploitative sham designed to build hopes up only to instead mercilessly crush our dreams. Hyperbolic, you say? Well, you have never felt the pure joy of a free(ish) biscuit. We are chasing that high.
We are willing to concede that 100 is indeed a cooler score to get to and that zeros look like biscuits. Fine, keep the 100, but don’t give us the flimsy deal of two dry sausage biscuits for a dollar. Of all the glorious treats that Bojangles has to offer ... how the hell did they end up with two sausage biscuits? If we wanted sausage biscuits, we’d hit up McDonald’s.
We’ve got our eyes, and tongues, on the most-filling hangover meal: the Cajun Chicken Filet Biscuit.
Either lower the score so that we can get our hands on some mediocre sausage biscuits, or make them chicken, and we can keep it 100. Bojangles has been shoving advertisements in our faces all season long. Can they please shove some chicken biscuits in our faces too? We want biscuits (more often).
