Quick hits for Oct. 27, 2016

Early voting

Vote. Vote after you get out of class. Vote during lunch. Vote with green eggs and ham. Vote before class. Vote before work. Vote absentee. Vote while abroad. Vote wherever good times are had (but actually at your polling place). Just please, please get out there and vote. Celebrate your right to do so.

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Just try us, Trump

By threatening to sue the women who have accused him of sexual assault, Donald Trump once again proves that “nobody respects women more” than him. Trump and his businesses have been involved in 3,500 lawsuits, so he’s the most litigious presidential candidate we’ve ever had. Donald, please sue us.

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Scandal exhaustion

Isn’t it sad when the NCAA is telling UNC that its response to the Notice of Allegations is “without merit”? This makes it seem like we might actually receive a punishment. We deserve it — we did cheat for a long time — but it still does not it make any more fun to remain in national headlines.