As the title suggests, "3,000 Miles to Graceland" is a long trip. A long, useless, tiring, frantic, stupid trip into the boldly unoriginal mind of director and co-writer Demian Lichtenstein.
The movie stars Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner as two casino-robbing Elvis impersonators running from the law and from each other. Along the way, lots of people die.
Slow-motion footage, stop-animation shots and tons of slick camera angles give "3,000 Miles" the shimmer and shine of a great action flick, with gunfire galore and bloody carnage the likes of which have not been seen since an '80s Charles Bronson film.
All the high-gloss filler does little to convince you that you're actually watching a good movie, however, as shallow characters, contrived dialogue and altogether cliched writing plague the film from the onset.
Lichtenstein is almost insulting in his use of pointless glitz, from the first quick-cuts-of-bright-neon-signs-and-big-cars montage to the Matrix-esque slow-motion bullet-slicing-through-the-air shots during a particularly lame showdown between Costner and Russell.
At one point in the movie, Russell's character explains why he robs casinos, saying, "You have to be original." Oh, cruel irony, why must you mock me so?
It's as though Lichtenstein was presented with a really crappy movie, then just pasted on action scenes from other movies to try to spice it up a bit.